Dressing has been a challenge lately

So, when all this started, I was wearing a size 14. Not entirely comfortably, either, depending on the outfit or the day.

After about 6 or 7 weeks, the 14s just weren't working at all, and I had to start into 12s. I had a couple of pairs (I seem to have a ton of options in black pants and gray pants in various sizes I've visited over the years). But I needed a few more. So I bought a few pairs of inexpensive 12s, hoping not to waste too much money as my plan was to not spend too much time in them.

This week, those 12s started to be a problem. a few I just can't wear at all, and a few I can kind of fake it if I'm in a bigger sweater that hides the roominess in the waste and the slimmer hips.

Now, for the most part, I can deal with this. My work wardrobe can be filled in here and there with a few core pairs of pants and I can get through the week. But this time of year, with holiday luncheons and dinners, I find myself wanting to wear nicer, more tailored-looking outfits, and struggling in a big way (oh - I just thought about this right now - i bet my good suits aren't going to fit at this point... shoot).

So, tonight, as we prepare to go out, I tried on several pants that have been in the rotation lately, and nothing was looking great. I was getting frustrated (just like when things are too small), and I found a size 10 pair of pants, slim because they are stretchy, that I haven't worn in 5 years. I bought them when I started working at Fidelity, and because of the "we bring in lunch and cookies every day" atmosphere when I first joined, well, these pants didn't last very long.

But today, they fit. Maybe not perfectly - maybe they'd look better in a few more pounds or inches, but they fit fine, they're in good shape, and they work for a festive evening. I'm happy, because I'm wearing a 10 for the first time in years, t because I found an outfit after many failed attempts, and because I'm now secretly justified for saving smaller size pants that I wasn't realistically going to fit into again without a major life change. I just want to be able to feel like I look good, and if my clothes don't fit, in one direction or another, I'm not feeling at my best. And I want to.

I spent time today with a friend who went through a major effort over the last year and has gone from a 14 to a 4!!! I couldn't be more proud of her, and she's a real inspiration. We bonded about the concept of working through a size for a few weeks, and the money spent as you transition to the next size. I'm hopefully going to pick up a few pairs of 10s over the holidays, and that should get me through a while after that.

Tonight, however, I'm headed out to the Italian restaurant I headed to earlier in the diet, and am planning on splurging here and there, but nothing crazy. Gotta get through this challenging week, one meal at a time!

Hope everyone in the "Winter Wallop" region is staying safe and cozy this weekend!

Thanks for reading!