Robert asks me this just about every time I come home from the gym. I don't know why he asks me this, since every time my response is:
"No. The gym is not fun. The gym is never fun. I don't like going to the gym. I don't like working out. I do it because I know I must, but the answer to that question will never be 'Yes'."
I'm not sure why I have such an aversion to it. I really just hate it. Part of it is the fact that I'm heavy means that most everything is more work than it should be. And being heavy means you can't run or do cardio classes without feeling the fat be in your way. It's just a feeling to abhor.
Part of it is the monotony of things like the treadmill or the bike, where I watch the clock, desperate for the time to pass more quickly than it does. My success there is dependent on my ability to get myself to committing to staying on the machine through one more song... Classes are better in terms of the monotony, but have the downside of being VERY public. Other people can see that I'm not coordinated, I'm struggling with particular moves, or I don't seem to be working as hard as someone else in the class. Worse, there's not much room for an honorable escape. If I am struggling after 45 minutes in a 60 minute class, I don't have much of an opportunity to just scoot out. And I'd feel a bit of shame if I were to do that any way.
Outside of the gym, taking a walk around the neighborhood or something - that's a pleasant alternative in terms of scenery, sure, but I certainly work no where near as hard.
I don't know that I'm the kind of person that will ever enjoy exercising. I know people who do (and am married to one), and it's just a different wiring. So my continued challenge is "how do I stay motivated to continue to engage in a behavior I don't enjoy, and don't anticipate enjoying" on a multi-day-per-week basis?
So far, the goal I've set for September (8 visits in one month will get me 100 rewards points from the gym), has been a good challenge. Even though we're out of town for 11 possible gym days this month, meaning I need to do 8 visits in 19 days, I am still anticipating it to be doable. (I'm at 6 right now, and have 4 more possible visit days in September). Not sure why that's been a helpful goal and structure to work with, and I hope that I both meet it and am able to use it again next month. (the next level up for rewards points, by the way is 15 visits in a month. I don't see that happening for several reasons, and I'm okay with that._ Last week, I missed 2 very obvious opportunities to go. No excuse, other than dread and laziness. Now this week, I have the "two more visit" pressure which will help, but it's not about the exercise I will do there; it's about the visit credit. That gets to part of the goal, but not the "want to exercise" part of it.
I've got the right equipment -- a really good gym (seriously) that's less than a half mile walk from my house, a good mp3 player and enjoyable and motivating playlist, cute and comfortable clothing, good sneakers, and a recent shorter haircut that helps keep the hair out of my face and off my neck. I don't think I'm missing anything in terms of that support. I just lack any emotional and psychological connection to the work that gets done, and getting excited enough to motivate to go sometimes. It's something I still need to work on, and, quite frankly, I don't know that I will ever get there.
When I was approaching our wedding last year, for several months (6) I worked once a week with a personal trainer. THIS was a bit different... I won't say it was fun (it wasn't) but there were several times (not every) where after the workout, I could feel good about what I had accomplished, could feel that I was very clearly stronger than I was in previous sessions, and I had fantastic support from my trainer. (Everyone should have a trainer like him, by the way). And after I get to a certain point with this journey, I may get connected with him again for a few more sessions. But it's an expensive way to kick start it, and I need to be sure I'm up for it fully before that kind of an investment, so that it's not wasted and I'm not filled with regret.
I know this was a bit rambly and depressing, but it's the big barrier to this whole effort for me. I don't honestly know if anyone empathizes with this, and I'm okay with being the only one. But it's a part of the story, and should be told.
Thanks for reading.
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6 comments:
i hate the gym too! however, it's a necessary evil. so, this is how i get through it:
mini gym goals. ie: get through week 3 of the couch25k and you can buy yourself better running shoes. do 4 sets of sit ups instead of 3, and i swear in a month, you'll see my 2 pack. hahah.
it's all about little goals. for me, it's making sure my back never goes out again. maybe for you it is -- "i want to climb 5 flights of stairs wihtout getting winded." or "i want to be able to have madonna arms." not madonna now, but when her arms were awesome. maybe a better example is linda hamilton in T2.
I am totally with you. I like getting exercise, but only when it's "fun." I like playing sports. I like going for hikes. Stuff like that. But walking on the treadmill is very dull. Doing the weight machines is even more dull. That is why I'm so reluctant to join a gym. It's such a financial commitment and what is going to motivate me to get in my car and drive to Westboro to be bored for an hour?
I do enjoy classes but have the same insecurities about them that you do. However, I think I get a little competitive, so I certainly wouldn't leave the class and I'm determined to keep up the pace and not look like a lamo. Ultimately, I think classes are good for me because they force me to work harder than my lazy ass normally would.
I LOVE that you have this monthly points system at your gym. You are TOTALLY going to get the points this month! Woohoo!
I love that you are blogging about this topic- so many people hate the gym. But I think it's important to keep searching for an activity that you really love. Salsa or tap dancing? ballroom? swimming? or even just walking city streets everywhere you go rather than "working out"? I read what you said about the coordination thing, but I'm not buying it. I know it FEELS that way. It just takes time for the brain and body to get together and figure things out, and then it's second nature. Whatever you do, just keep going. What a wonderful gift you are giving yourself and the people you love!
okay, so maybe this is just a guy thing...but we'll see. I wouldn't say that I enjoy lifting weights, but I do enjoy pushing myself. I frequently give myself messages while lifting that remind me of my goals, of how I want to look, of how I want to feel, of how long I want to live for my family, etc. I remind myself that I'm in the gym and it took motivation and availability in my schedule to get there, so I might as well make it count, whether that's doing an extra set of reps, an extra few minutes on the elliptical, etc. I know I feel good afterwards, although I probably wouldn't call the process fun. Are those kinds of reminders helpful? or just for guys?
oh, i forgot to add to the motivation thing...reminders of how I want to look in May-hee-co
This post really resonated, huh? I love that you've all provided some great ideas for me, and some good support... I tend to look around and say "gee - everyone else is just happy to be here" and I assume I'm just excessively lazy or challenged. It's helpful to know that normal people in my life have struggles and tricks/tips to get through them, too!
@Paulie -- not sure if that's a guy thing or not, but i'll give it a try.
@Mere - I'm trying to find the thing that works, or at least trying to mix it up. Like in Colorado, I have to find solutions that can work year round - which means I have to find an indoors option for the winter (which hasn't even started!) to sustain me. That's kind of what I'm working through now...
@Liz - I think your point about the classes making you work harder than you normally would is EXACTLY part of my plan. I KNOW that's the case for me... not only is it less boring, but it's harder to ease out of it or work less than others. I need that sometimes.
@Danielle -- it's a good point. Other than than achieving the math of the goals, I haven't really set up smaller rewards for myself. I did treat myself to 2 new tops and a pair of pants to work out in, but that was more a necessity than a reward. I've been saying to myself "I'd like to lose 10 pounds by Christmas", which seems doable, and I think that would be a good place to start a mini-reward for me.
Thanks, guys!
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