You may remember over christmas break, I was in Florida with my folks. They'd asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said I really needed some new pants. We hit the outlets, and they were extremely generous and bought me several pairs of pants. A couple were size 12's, but mostly they were 10's (i started this journey firmly into 14s). I hoped to get a few months out of them, and didn't let my parents spend too much money on me, knowing that these were (hopefully) a temporary stop on my way to wherever I land.
Well, some of the 10's are starting to get roomy. But today was an interesting development...
I had bought one pair of pants (i bought, not my parents) that day, that were too snug to wear at the time, but they were pretty, and on sale for $12, and I figured if I never got there, it wouldn't be a huge waste. I tried them on this morning, and could not believe my eyes.
I looked skinny.
First of all... I should have tried these pants 3 weeks ago. I already need to take the waist in. But the rest of it all fits well in the hips and thighs, so they still generally fit. But I could not believe how good they looked. I felt like an "after" from "What Not To Wear", where the transformation is so huge, it's like a different person. (Yup, there's my shout out to Stacy London, of whom most of you know I'm a huge fan).
I went up to many of my colleagues with whom I'm friendlier and know my story (and read this blog!) and announced, "Look at this! Can you believe it?" and all echoed my observation... these pants made me look skinny.
The other day, when those older pants fit, that was great, but this was different. I'm not even sure I can explain why. It just kind of felt like I'd finally gotten to a new me. Maybe there's more to go, and before long, I may be in 8's or who knows after that. But I know that I saw today that even though I had it in my head that my ultimate goal is 30 lbs, there are going to be plenty of stops along the way that I'm going to look great when I get to.
I'm off to Long Island this weekend, where I'll also see my cousin, whom I blogged about in November. I'm excited that both of us will get to visit our families and we can each show off all our progress towards our healthier goals. I expect he's going to knock our socks off!
Thanks for reading!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Getting back on track after being sick
Okay, here's the thing. I was sick last week, as you know. And I traveled this weekend, and ate kind of crappy here and there, and felt airplane-bloated, etc., when I came home late Sunday night. I weighed myself Monday morning. I didn't love what I saw. I got too busy to post yesterday, and decided I'd see what I weighed on Tuesday morning, when the bloat went down.
Much better.
So, even though it's technically not my Monday morning weigh in (and I'm fessing up about that), it's a legitimate weigh-in, and it honestly motivates me more, so, whatever helps me, I'm using. I'm sure you can all support me in that.
Here we are:
This week's weigh in -0.2 lbs
Total weigh in: -16.1 lbs.
I went to pilates last night -- the first work out since I'd gotten sick. I was in good shape until about 55 minutes into it (Maria had even commented on my great form during the hour) and all of a sudden, during an exercise, Maria said, "I don't know what just happened, but I just watched you turn pale before my eyes". I felt it, too. I'd just hit my limit. I'd worked hard, but didn't have enough in me to get through the full hour. Sure, we were basically done, but still, it felt like a little bit of a "I wasn't ready yet" calling. The good news is I'm feeling better today, and I hope to be at 100% soon enough!
I'm still a little worried about how being sick will impact my current goal (3 more weeks to lose almost 4 lbs) but I'm refocused on it, and hoping for the best.
On to an update about how I'm feeling about my progress so far:
I've struggled a little bit with the statements of "I haven't weighed this amount since ________". For whatever reason, I just don't have much of a good tracking of my weight beyond the last 4 years or so. I can look back at pictures, but it's not the same thing. Honestly, I'm not even sure I could tell you what I weighed in high school or college. (High School - less. College - more some years, less others). My goal weight is in line with what I weighed in grad school, which is the last time I remember feeling like I was happy with how my body looked. It may have had something to do with having no money to buy food, sure... but still.
So, I'm left with hazier hallmarks of where I'm at. Today, I was pleasantly reminded of one. I wore today a pair of pants that I bought when I started working with my current employer, 6 years ago. I didn't wear them for long, as I gained some weight early on (they brought lunch in every day for us for a few months during a crisis-clean-up, including peanut butter cookies every day.... yum). For whatever reason, I kept these pants, and today, when looking around for something to wear, I thought I'd give them a shot. Not only did they fit, they fit well. Even roomy.
I don't know what my next hallmark of progress to my past weights will be, but that one felt good today.
Thanks for reading!
Much better.
So, even though it's technically not my Monday morning weigh in (and I'm fessing up about that), it's a legitimate weigh-in, and it honestly motivates me more, so, whatever helps me, I'm using. I'm sure you can all support me in that.
Here we are:
This week's weigh in -0.2 lbs
Total weigh in: -16.1 lbs.
I went to pilates last night -- the first work out since I'd gotten sick. I was in good shape until about 55 minutes into it (Maria had even commented on my great form during the hour) and all of a sudden, during an exercise, Maria said, "I don't know what just happened, but I just watched you turn pale before my eyes". I felt it, too. I'd just hit my limit. I'd worked hard, but didn't have enough in me to get through the full hour. Sure, we were basically done, but still, it felt like a little bit of a "I wasn't ready yet" calling. The good news is I'm feeling better today, and I hope to be at 100% soon enough!
I'm still a little worried about how being sick will impact my current goal (3 more weeks to lose almost 4 lbs) but I'm refocused on it, and hoping for the best.
On to an update about how I'm feeling about my progress so far:
I've struggled a little bit with the statements of "I haven't weighed this amount since ________". For whatever reason, I just don't have much of a good tracking of my weight beyond the last 4 years or so. I can look back at pictures, but it's not the same thing. Honestly, I'm not even sure I could tell you what I weighed in high school or college. (High School - less. College - more some years, less others). My goal weight is in line with what I weighed in grad school, which is the last time I remember feeling like I was happy with how my body looked. It may have had something to do with having no money to buy food, sure... but still.
So, I'm left with hazier hallmarks of where I'm at. Today, I was pleasantly reminded of one. I wore today a pair of pants that I bought when I started working with my current employer, 6 years ago. I didn't wear them for long, as I gained some weight early on (they brought lunch in every day for us for a few months during a crisis-clean-up, including peanut butter cookies every day.... yum). For whatever reason, I kept these pants, and today, when looking around for something to wear, I thought I'd give them a shot. Not only did they fit, they fit well. Even roomy.
I don't know what my next hallmark of progress to my past weights will be, but that one felt good today.
Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Sick Sucks and Six Months
So, my illness continues, and I finally got to a doctor today and got some drugs (nasal steroids, mainly), that should take a few days to kick in. Until then, my cough, stuffiness, and fever have kept me out of things the past week, as I expected. I didn't make it to the gym, as I'd hoped (lucky I made it out of bed a few days).
This week's weigh in: +0.4lbs
Total weigh in: -15.9 lbs.
Not as bad as I expected, given my diet of comfort food and my low energy week.
Here's an interesting point of fact:
Tomorrow is 6 months since I started this. I can't really believe that. Six months. Do I feel good about what I've accomplished so far? Sometimes, yes, sometimes, no. Mainly yes, but still realize I have much work ahead of me to get through the next 8 months to my ultimate goal. I know it's attainable, and I know I've done a ton, and my life is different than it would have been without taking these steps.
I thank you all for the support you've given me so far, and don't leave me now, just because I'm in a sickness rut... I'm not contagious! :-)
Thanks for reading!
This week's weigh in: +0.4lbs
Total weigh in: -15.9 lbs.
Not as bad as I expected, given my diet of comfort food and my low energy week.
Here's an interesting point of fact:
Tomorrow is 6 months since I started this. I can't really believe that. Six months. Do I feel good about what I've accomplished so far? Sometimes, yes, sometimes, no. Mainly yes, but still realize I have much work ahead of me to get through the next 8 months to my ultimate goal. I know it's attainable, and I know I've done a ton, and my life is different than it would have been without taking these steps.
I thank you all for the support you've given me so far, and don't leave me now, just because I'm in a sickness rut... I'm not contagious! :-)
Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Where I've been?
Sorry I've been out of touch... I'll explain.
First of all:
This week's weigh in: +0.4lb
Total weight loss: -16.3 lbs.
Not a huge surprise, really.
This week, however, I'm bracing for bad.
I've been sick (I was a little bit last week, but much worse this week, since Monday) and it's been kicking my butt a bit. It's a cough/cold/respiratory thing, but my appetite is also all out of whack, and I keep thinking maybe I'm hungry and should eat, and I learn soon after that's not the case.
As a result, I've been a bit more focused on comfort foods and grazing, and I haven't been making great choices (or at least ones that won't lead to some ramifications). We went out with great friends last night, and my indulgence was a bowl of cream of cauliflower soup (and some very yummy salmon). Didn't have dessert, but had cocktails.
Tonight, just some soup and an ice pop to make my throat feel better. And a shot of some super gross tasting medicine.
I've got a fun evening out on Saturday up in NH coming up, so I'm trying my best to get better before then so that we can enjoy our evening and the rest of the weekend.
I *did* go to pilates on Monday and I hope to go to Zumba tomorrow and power pilates on Saturday if I am feeling up for it.
But I'm bracing for a big "+" weighin next week. Sorry to be disappointing!
I hope you're all feeling well, and those of you suffering through the snowmageddon!
Thanks for reading!
First of all:
This week's weigh in: +0.4lb
Total weight loss: -16.3 lbs.
Not a huge surprise, really.
This week, however, I'm bracing for bad.
I've been sick (I was a little bit last week, but much worse this week, since Monday) and it's been kicking my butt a bit. It's a cough/cold/respiratory thing, but my appetite is also all out of whack, and I keep thinking maybe I'm hungry and should eat, and I learn soon after that's not the case.
As a result, I've been a bit more focused on comfort foods and grazing, and I haven't been making great choices (or at least ones that won't lead to some ramifications). We went out with great friends last night, and my indulgence was a bowl of cream of cauliflower soup (and some very yummy salmon). Didn't have dessert, but had cocktails.
Tonight, just some soup and an ice pop to make my throat feel better. And a shot of some super gross tasting medicine.
I've got a fun evening out on Saturday up in NH coming up, so I'm trying my best to get better before then so that we can enjoy our evening and the rest of the weekend.
I *did* go to pilates on Monday and I hope to go to Zumba tomorrow and power pilates on Saturday if I am feeling up for it.
But I'm bracing for a big "+" weighin next week. Sorry to be disappointing!
I hope you're all feeling well, and those of you suffering through the snowmageddon!
Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Spinning around and around...
As I planned, I tried spinning for the first time this week. I thought I'd take some time to talk about that experience.
Have you read about people who try spinning for the first time and say, "It was amazing! I'm so pumped!"?
I wasn't one of those people.
If you're not familiar with spinning, it's a high intensity hour of riding on bikes that allow you to increase the tension, making the pedaling harder or easier. At the direction of the instructor, you'll stand up, sit down, do that in bursts of energy, or gradual increases like a hill. And lots of standing up and pedaling when it's really hard.
The hour had pluses and minuses.
Minus:
I didn't really "Stand Up".
Plus:
I didn't throw up. And I didn't give up.
Minus:
The saddle hurts.
Plus:
I had been wearing bike shorts, so it didn't hurt as much as it could.
Minus:
My husband set up my bike with all the settings for me to use it. I wasn't sure he was right.
Plus:
The instructor made all the right changes to the bike for me. :-)
Minus:
An hour was way too long for me to not imagine bailing.
Plus:
They have 45 minutes classes on different days.
Minus:
The class was filled with a lot of hard core people that were kind of intimidating with how they were all able to do everything.
Plus:
The instructor (Laura) was really helpful and attentive to me, knowing I'd never done this before.
Minus:
It was really hard. I was sweating a ton. My foot slipped out of the pedal thingy twice. Maybe 3 times.
Plus:
I survived.
Will I go again? I think so. Maybe to the 45 minute class on Sunday. I figure I have to try it 3 times before I give up totally.
But it's not my new found passion-at-first-spin, and I don't know that I'll get there. And that's okay.
Thanks for reading!
Have you read about people who try spinning for the first time and say, "It was amazing! I'm so pumped!"?
I wasn't one of those people.
If you're not familiar with spinning, it's a high intensity hour of riding on bikes that allow you to increase the tension, making the pedaling harder or easier. At the direction of the instructor, you'll stand up, sit down, do that in bursts of energy, or gradual increases like a hill. And lots of standing up and pedaling when it's really hard.
The hour had pluses and minuses.
Minus:
I didn't really "Stand Up".
Plus:
I didn't throw up. And I didn't give up.
Minus:
The saddle hurts.
Plus:
I had been wearing bike shorts, so it didn't hurt as much as it could.
Minus:
My husband set up my bike with all the settings for me to use it. I wasn't sure he was right.
Plus:
The instructor made all the right changes to the bike for me. :-)
Minus:
An hour was way too long for me to not imagine bailing.
Plus:
They have 45 minutes classes on different days.
Minus:
The class was filled with a lot of hard core people that were kind of intimidating with how they were all able to do everything.
Plus:
The instructor (Laura) was really helpful and attentive to me, knowing I'd never done this before.
Minus:
It was really hard. I was sweating a ton. My foot slipped out of the pedal thingy twice. Maybe 3 times.
Plus:
I survived.
Will I go again? I think so. Maybe to the 45 minute class on Sunday. I figure I have to try it 3 times before I give up totally.
But it's not my new found passion-at-first-spin, and I don't know that I'll get there. And that's okay.
Thanks for reading!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Just the kind of weigh in I needed.
Feeling very good about this week's weigh in (especially after my last blog post). I also hit both my current Weight Watchers goal (the second one I set) and achieved a WW milestone: 10% weight loss!
This week's weight loss: -1.4 lbs
Total weight loss: -16.7 lbs
That's over 10% weight loss AND my BMI (which is not a perfect measure for everyone, I know, but directionally helpful) is also down more than 10%.
I set my next WW goal less aggressively, just to get me to my next real short term goal. I'd like to make sure I'm solidly at -20lbs by Week 30. That's 6 weeks from now, to lose 3.3 lbs. Now some may say "That's no problem - why not go for something harder?" But I'm definitely still feeling like I could revert or plateau, and I honestly think that a goal of half a pound a week is achievable, but certainly hasn't always been the case. So, if I can get to 2o lbs by Week 30 (March 15th), I will really feel like I can focus my last half of this journey on the dreaded "Last 10 Pounds" that everyone struggles with...
For a change this week, I'm thinking about trying a spin class, maybe even as early as tonight. Some good friends have recently started spinning (albeit at 5 in the morning with a mean instructor) and seem to be enjoying it... of course, Robert does it, but he's in a different class of human when it comes to stuff like that, so I can't really use him as a barometer of whether or not *I'll* like it. Or survive it. So I hope to have a report on that later on in the week. The only challenge for trying it tonight is it would be before my pilates reformer class, and so it would give me a short break to shower and clean up before that class... maybe I'll make it?
Thanks for reading!
This week's weight loss: -1.4 lbs
Total weight loss: -16.7 lbs
That's over 10% weight loss AND my BMI (which is not a perfect measure for everyone, I know, but directionally helpful) is also down more than 10%.
I set my next WW goal less aggressively, just to get me to my next real short term goal. I'd like to make sure I'm solidly at -20lbs by Week 30. That's 6 weeks from now, to lose 3.3 lbs. Now some may say "That's no problem - why not go for something harder?" But I'm definitely still feeling like I could revert or plateau, and I honestly think that a goal of half a pound a week is achievable, but certainly hasn't always been the case. So, if I can get to 2o lbs by Week 30 (March 15th), I will really feel like I can focus my last half of this journey on the dreaded "Last 10 Pounds" that everyone struggles with...
For a change this week, I'm thinking about trying a spin class, maybe even as early as tonight. Some good friends have recently started spinning (albeit at 5 in the morning with a mean instructor) and seem to be enjoying it... of course, Robert does it, but he's in a different class of human when it comes to stuff like that, so I can't really use him as a barometer of whether or not *I'll* like it. Or survive it. So I hope to have a report on that later on in the week. The only challenge for trying it tonight is it would be before my pilates reformer class, and so it would give me a short break to shower and clean up before that class... maybe I'll make it?
Thanks for reading!
Friday, January 29, 2010
A tough conversation, but staying on track
I hesitated posting this, because it's a bit personal, and it probably shares more than I should about a private conversation, but I've been struggling with it, and wanted to share a little bit about it.
A few nights ago, I had dinner with a good friend I've known for a long time (who may or may not read this blog). In an unusual turn of events for our friendship, my friend found himself lecturing me for about 45 minutes about my eating.
His main point was that, though I've made good improvements, unless I significantly change my eating habits, even if I'm successful in meeting my goal for my weight loss, I will inevitably gain it back, both because what I'm eating is bad for me, and because I will stop exercising since I don't enjoy it. He also believes I'll be a happier person if I change my eating. (I don't think I'm unhappy, but that's not relevant).
The eating habit changes he illustrated were to eliminate processed, engineered, pasteurized food from my diet, and that I should go natural and fresh, etc. I don't know much about this stuff, but I think that's called "clean" eating or something. In any event, he had a lot of things to say about what he perceived to be my eating habits, and though I know it was very well intended, the conversation made me feel really badly about myself.
I don't think it was his intention to be as lecturing and preachy as he ended up being; but I do believe that he believes passionately in this sort of thing.
I am not discounting everything, and I'm certain there are lots of things I could do differently to eat even healthier than I do now. Quite frankly, there are lots of things I could do differently in all aspects of my life to be "better".
I refuse to believe, however, that the only way to be successful at taking off weight, keeping off weight, and getting healthier across the board is by only eating "clean". I know there are lots of people out there who are passionate about this, and I respect that it works for them. I also know that, as I stare down 40, it's not likely that eating "clean" will somehow magically erase any impact of the things I've eaten so far. I have to believe that I can achieve my goals and not have to turn my life inside out, which is what eating "clean" makes me feel like I'd have to do. Fresh food all the time. Limited and pure ingredients in everything. Everything organic and unengineered. What can only mean an astronomical grocery bill at Whole Foods every week. That sort of thing. Honestly, I'm just not that into it. For those of you who are, I respect that. And it's not like I eat so terribly... I really don't. I just don't eat like THAT. And I don't have a desire to.
But all that aside, the worst thing is how it made me feel about the weight I've lost, the hard work I've done, and the hard work I still need to do to get to my goal. And to STAY at my goal. Though he said several times he didn't want to discount what I've done, I still felt it. I know he meant well. I just wish it didn't feel like a torpedo in the middle of my plan.
I've got some very great friends and my wonderful husband who helped me kind of get past this event, and I appreciate all their support. I needed it to make sure I stay on track. And, like I said, this isn't a typical post for me, and I don't want my friend to feel like I'm complaining publicly about it. What I'm doing is trying to use my blogging for the purpose I set it up for: To help me achieve my goals, talk about accomplishments and be honest about challenges along the way. This one was a challenge, and my success so far is that I didn't let it discourage me and cause me to give up.
Thanks for reading!
A few nights ago, I had dinner with a good friend I've known for a long time (who may or may not read this blog). In an unusual turn of events for our friendship, my friend found himself lecturing me for about 45 minutes about my eating.
His main point was that, though I've made good improvements, unless I significantly change my eating habits, even if I'm successful in meeting my goal for my weight loss, I will inevitably gain it back, both because what I'm eating is bad for me, and because I will stop exercising since I don't enjoy it. He also believes I'll be a happier person if I change my eating. (I don't think I'm unhappy, but that's not relevant).
The eating habit changes he illustrated were to eliminate processed, engineered, pasteurized food from my diet, and that I should go natural and fresh, etc. I don't know much about this stuff, but I think that's called "clean" eating or something. In any event, he had a lot of things to say about what he perceived to be my eating habits, and though I know it was very well intended, the conversation made me feel really badly about myself.
I don't think it was his intention to be as lecturing and preachy as he ended up being; but I do believe that he believes passionately in this sort of thing.
I am not discounting everything, and I'm certain there are lots of things I could do differently to eat even healthier than I do now. Quite frankly, there are lots of things I could do differently in all aspects of my life to be "better".
I refuse to believe, however, that the only way to be successful at taking off weight, keeping off weight, and getting healthier across the board is by only eating "clean". I know there are lots of people out there who are passionate about this, and I respect that it works for them. I also know that, as I stare down 40, it's not likely that eating "clean" will somehow magically erase any impact of the things I've eaten so far. I have to believe that I can achieve my goals and not have to turn my life inside out, which is what eating "clean" makes me feel like I'd have to do. Fresh food all the time. Limited and pure ingredients in everything. Everything organic and unengineered. What can only mean an astronomical grocery bill at Whole Foods every week. That sort of thing. Honestly, I'm just not that into it. For those of you who are, I respect that. And it's not like I eat so terribly... I really don't. I just don't eat like THAT. And I don't have a desire to.
But all that aside, the worst thing is how it made me feel about the weight I've lost, the hard work I've done, and the hard work I still need to do to get to my goal. And to STAY at my goal. Though he said several times he didn't want to discount what I've done, I still felt it. I know he meant well. I just wish it didn't feel like a torpedo in the middle of my plan.
I've got some very great friends and my wonderful husband who helped me kind of get past this event, and I appreciate all their support. I needed it to make sure I stay on track. And, like I said, this isn't a typical post for me, and I don't want my friend to feel like I'm complaining publicly about it. What I'm doing is trying to use my blogging for the purpose I set it up for: To help me achieve my goals, talk about accomplishments and be honest about challenges along the way. This one was a challenge, and my success so far is that I didn't let it discourage me and cause me to give up.
Thanks for reading!
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