I hesitated posting this, because it's a bit personal, and it probably shares more than I should about a private conversation, but I've been struggling with it, and wanted to share a little bit about it.
A few nights ago, I had dinner with a good friend I've known for a long time (who may or may not read this blog). In an unusual turn of events for our friendship, my friend found himself lecturing me for about 45 minutes about my eating.
His main point was that, though I've made good improvements, unless I significantly change my eating habits, even if I'm successful in meeting my goal for my weight loss, I will inevitably gain it back, both because what I'm eating is bad for me, and because I will stop exercising since I don't enjoy it. He also believes I'll be a happier person if I change my eating. (I don't think I'm unhappy, but that's not relevant).
The eating habit changes he illustrated were to eliminate processed, engineered, pasteurized food from my diet, and that I should go natural and fresh, etc. I don't know much about this stuff, but I think that's called "clean" eating or something. In any event, he had a lot of things to say about what he perceived to be my eating habits, and though I know it was very well intended, the conversation made me feel really badly about myself.
I don't think it was his intention to be as lecturing and preachy as he ended up being; but I do believe that he believes passionately in this sort of thing.
I am not discounting everything, and I'm certain there are lots of things I could do differently to eat even healthier than I do now. Quite frankly, there are lots of things I could do differently in all aspects of my life to be "better".
I refuse to believe, however, that the only way to be successful at taking off weight, keeping off weight, and getting healthier across the board is by only eating "clean". I know there are lots of people out there who are passionate about this, and I respect that it works for them. I also know that, as I stare down 40, it's not likely that eating "clean" will somehow magically erase any impact of the things I've eaten so far. I have to believe that I can achieve my goals and not have to turn my life inside out, which is what eating "clean" makes me feel like I'd have to do. Fresh food all the time. Limited and pure ingredients in everything. Everything organic and unengineered. What can only mean an astronomical grocery bill at Whole Foods every week. That sort of thing. Honestly, I'm just not that into it. For those of you who are, I respect that. And it's not like I eat so terribly... I really don't. I just don't eat like THAT. And I don't have a desire to.
But all that aside, the worst thing is how it made me feel about the weight I've lost, the hard work I've done, and the hard work I still need to do to get to my goal. And to STAY at my goal. Though he said several times he didn't want to discount what I've done, I still felt it. I know he meant well. I just wish it didn't feel like a torpedo in the middle of my plan.
I've got some very great friends and my wonderful husband who helped me kind of get past this event, and I appreciate all their support. I needed it to make sure I stay on track. And, like I said, this isn't a typical post for me, and I don't want my friend to feel like I'm complaining publicly about it. What I'm doing is trying to use my blogging for the purpose I set it up for: To help me achieve my goals, talk about accomplishments and be honest about challenges along the way. This one was a challenge, and my success so far is that I didn't let it discourage me and cause me to give up.
Thanks for reading!
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1 comment:
I understand where you are coming from. That would be a massive lifestyle change for you (and most of us). And if it isn't something you feel passionately about, then it is going to be really difficult. You already have a challenge like that with working out - you probably don't need another. And frankly, I think being more active is a much more beneficial life change for you at this point.
I do agree with your friend, that is is better for overall health to eat unprocessed food, lots of fresh produce, etc. However, like you said, that's not always feasible. I, obviously don't eat like that most of the time. But, I do try to take little steps when I can toward that goal. Starting my own garden (however unsuccessful), shopping at the farmers market, making my own granola bars...just little things that make me feel like I'm heading in the right direction. I think you are the kind of person who is always looking to improve yourself. Maybe this is a subject you can gradually tackle once the weight is off. In an effort to further improve your overall health and maintain your new weight. Or not! Up to you!
Don't let his comment get you down, though. He probably doesn't know where you started with your eating habits. I do, and I know you have improved them greatly, just by forcing yourself to eat regular, healthy meals. Keep up the great work!
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