Lasagna, Breakfast Bakes, and Saddlebags.

As promised, more about my time with my folks in Florida. Warning: do not read this on an empty stomach.

First, we arrived in the evening and went straight from the airport to a party at their friends house. There was a huge spread of dinner type food and desserts. I limited my take at this party to one glass of wine, a few pieces of dinner-type food, and one dessert. I had a haystack (melted chocolate and chinese noodles, ripped from my childhood memory and placed decoratively on the table of temptation). I may have had one other cookie, but I can't remember if I did or not, which speaks more to my memory than to the cookie.

Christmas day, we had food in front of us non-stop -- all fo it good and tempting. I did a good job of balancing through the day. We started with a breakfast bake -- kind of a baked french toast with bread, milk, eggs, and fruit. I had one tablespoon of the bake, and half a grapefruit. I had a bowl of cereal at around 2 to help stave off the hunger that would come when all the appetizers came out. At the appetizers before dinner, I had a few bites of cranberry cheddar cheese, some crackers, one cracker of spinach and artichoke bake, and one glass of prosecco. For Christmas dinner, we had lasagna, sausage, meatballs, fresh bread from Boston (I guess Florida people can't get crusty bread, so it's quite a delicacy) and string beans. I had string beans, one small piece of lasagna, one piece of sausage, no bread, no additional wine. For dessert, we had a thousand things on the table - cannolis, chocolate covered creampuffs, chocolate covered strawberries, lots of christmas cookies, and cannoli cake. I had one small slice of cannoli cake, one strawberry, and one bite of lemonbar/muffiny treat thing.

The rest of the weekend involved one or two big meals each day. All of which I had one portion worth, no seconds, rarely any sides that could have gone with them. We had another breakfast bake later in the week (a savory one with sausage and leeks - yuuuuuuuuuuum) and chicken pot pie, and lots more temptation of cookies (i had a few over the 4 days).

All in all, I'm happy with how I managed my food, my portions, my general over the few days. Even the festive drinking was all around. One night I had 2 cocktails, but never more than that.

Robert got inspired and ran a 5k the day after Christmas (he did very well, even running in reindeer antlers on his head), but no other exercise existed for us during those days.

A few weeks ago, when my parents asked me what i wanted or needed for Christmas, I said I could use some pants. Boy, could I use some pants. The 14's are long in the back of my closet, and most of the 12s I had are at least roomy, some unwearable. I probably am rotating 3 pairs of pants at this point. So, the day after Christmas, we went out at I got several pairs of 10s and a couple of very-well-fitting 12s.

Because of the ill-fitting clothes, my parents couldn't tell much, beyond my face, that I'd lost much weight at all. It wasn't until Christmas eve night, when I had my pajamas on, when they both saw me at a certain angle and in a certain light, and both finally noticed the weight, and the slimmer bottom half.

My mother announced, "Oh, now I can finally see the weight loss. You lost your saddle bags."

(then she asked me if I knew what she was talking about. Of course I know what saddle bags are. They plague me!)

I'm not sure if the saddlebagectomy is from the dieting, or from the pilates, but I'm giving the pilates credit at this point. I can feel just how much stronger my legs are, and that slimming effect has to all be part of that.

Now we head up to NH, and it's going to be a blizzard up there. I'm anticipating comfort food and crockpot meals and soup and all that kind of stuff. I'll have to continue working at portion control and moderation throughout the weekend if I want to get back to the 14 pounds down I was before the holiday weeks. But I'm looking forward (?) to the Week 20 weigh in, measurements and photos, just a few days away. Still not posting photos (maybe week 30?) but happy to stay focused on that ritual as I go.

Happy New Year to all of you! Do any of you have resolutions for 2010 that involve your health and fitness?

Thanks for reading!

Dodged a bullet - just a quick post

I'll post more later, but the highlight is that I survived 4 and a half days in Florida with holiday parties and all the food one could want, by only gaining less than a pound.

This week's weigh in: +0.6 lbs
Total Weight loss: -12.9 lbs.

I still hope to have my "year end" weigh in a bit more positive (or negative, as the case may be), when I weigh in for week 20 next Monday.

I'll post more about holiday week later.

Thanks for reading!

As expected, but not as bad as it could be

My weigh in this week wasn't a surprise (in the sense that there was a gain), but I was prepared for worse.

This week's weight: +0.6 lbs.
Total weight loss: -13.5 lbs.
Body fat -- still at -4.5%, which is great, considering that could easily have slipped, too.

I faced a lot of temptation and a lot of "special occasion/eating out" this week, but made some good choices here and there:

• Holiday luncheon on Thursday (I skipped the bread, my app was a light salad, and we didn't have dessert)
  
• Out to celebrate my new promotion on Friday (I had 2 cocktails, but I had soup and salad for dinner and only one of the rolls... which are amazing).
  
• Out with friends and an elaborate dinner on Saturday (I stuck to small portions and skipped dessert, though I had a cookie afterwards.
• Brunch with friends on Sunday (where there was a ton of attention paid to making it a HEALTHY brunch, not just for me, but all of is -- I had some scrambled eggs, root vegetable hash, fruit salad and 2 bloody marys, and a couple of cookies).
  

I've got lunch plans the next 3 days, but hope to keep them limited to salads and lighter sandwiches, if I can. AND THEN comes the traveling for Christmas. That will be:

• Party at my mom's friend's house Christmas Eve night
• Fancy breakfast on Christmas (stuffed french toast thing)
• Christmas dinner with lasagna
• Dinner out at Roy's steakhouse over the weekend
• Probably another elaborate meal in there somewhere

So... a week from now (well, Tuesday morning) will be the post Xmas weigh in. Week 19.

Hope those of you who celebrate Christmas are looking forward to a great week of joyousness and being able to say no to the extra cookies! :-)

And the rest of you... well... you can find will power with the cookies, too!

Thanks for reading!

Dressing has been a challenge lately

So, when all this started, I was wearing a size 14. Not entirely comfortably, either, depending on the outfit or the day.

After about 6 or 7 weeks, the 14s just weren't working at all, and I had to start into 12s. I had a couple of pairs (I seem to have a ton of options in black pants and gray pants in various sizes I've visited over the years). But I needed a few more. So I bought a few pairs of inexpensive 12s, hoping not to waste too much money as my plan was to not spend too much time in them.

This week, those 12s started to be a problem. a few I just can't wear at all, and a few I can kind of fake it if I'm in a bigger sweater that hides the roominess in the waste and the slimmer hips.

Now, for the most part, I can deal with this. My work wardrobe can be filled in here and there with a few core pairs of pants and I can get through the week. But this time of year, with holiday luncheons and dinners, I find myself wanting to wear nicer, more tailored-looking outfits, and struggling in a big way (oh - I just thought about this right now - i bet my good suits aren't going to fit at this point... shoot).

So, tonight, as we prepare to go out, I tried on several pants that have been in the rotation lately, and nothing was looking great. I was getting frustrated (just like when things are too small), and I found a size 10 pair of pants, slim because they are stretchy, that I haven't worn in 5 years. I bought them when I started working at Fidelity, and because of the "we bring in lunch and cookies every day" atmosphere when I first joined, well, these pants didn't last very long.

But today, they fit. Maybe not perfectly - maybe they'd look better in a few more pounds or inches, but they fit fine, they're in good shape, and they work for a festive evening. I'm happy, because I'm wearing a 10 for the first time in years, t because I found an outfit after many failed attempts, and because I'm now secretly justified for saving smaller size pants that I wasn't realistically going to fit into again without a major life change. I just want to be able to feel like I look good, and if my clothes don't fit, in one direction or another, I'm not feeling at my best. And I want to.

I spent time today with a friend who went through a major effort over the last year and has gone from a 14 to a 4!!! I couldn't be more proud of her, and she's a real inspiration. We bonded about the concept of working through a size for a few weeks, and the money spent as you transition to the next size. I'm hopefully going to pick up a few pairs of 10s over the holidays, and that should get me through a while after that.

Tonight, however, I'm headed out to the Italian restaurant I headed to earlier in the diet, and am planning on splurging here and there, but nothing crazy. Gotta get through this challenging week, one meal at a time!

Hope everyone in the "Winter Wallop" region is staying safe and cozy this weekend!

Thanks for reading!

Where the heck have I been?

Hello! Well.. yes, this post is days overdue. We've had computer problems here at the house, and I was without the internet for a few days. (and on the phone with comcast A LOT). Now, I've got internet, but can't seem to get my wireless going yet, and just haven't had the time to reconstruct the whole darn thing. And since it's way inappropriate to blog from work, I've had little other choice. So, SORRY for the interruption! Thanks for sticking with me!

Back to my regularly scheduled program: Trying to hold onto any possible weightloss progress through the holiday season!

I weighed in on Monday, and had gained A POUND. I was honestly pretty angry with myself, even though I know that it's just kind of a factor of this time of year. It's much harder to stick to WW when there's a lunch or a dinner or a special occasion here and there. What's worse is that it's only continuing. I've been out since then for more indulgent meals, and I have at least 3 more events and 3 more lunches between now and Christmas eve! I'm honestly a bit worried that I'll have gained back 5 pounds before all of this is over! And it's not like I'm gorging... it's just off the plan. I'm not having large portion sizes, but it is portions of stuff I haven't eaten since before I started WW in August. It's like my body wants all that yummy food back, and it's gotten a few tastes of it, and won't let go.

Now, to be fair, I knew this was coming. I knew that I wanted to hit 15 lbs down by xmas so that I COULD afford to gain some back and have my 2010 journey not be 30 lbs but 20 or less to go. But still, there must have been a part of me that thought that was just a hedge, that I'd be fine and successful, and that there was nothing really to worry about, and I'd impress myself and probably everyone else. So, I guess from that point of view, I'm disappointed that I haven't been able to defy the physics of the holiday season.

So, the numbers:

This week's weigh in: +1.1 lbs (ugh)
Total weigh in: -14.1 lbs

It should be added that I've been in the gym 2x each week, which is good, but not great, and the biggest thing that needs to change in 2010!

Some points of note for the coming weeks:

• Next week I will weigh in and report out on Monday (I promise!) Even if it sucks.
• The week after that, weigh in will be a day later.
• The week after that (Jan 5) is week 20, and I will do measurements and pictures then. I still haven't decided yet on posting pictures. I think I want them to tell a better story first, so we'll see...

In the meanwhile, thanks for coming back (even with a few day delay on my weigh in) and for being supportive during this crazy time! I hope you are all doing your best in facing the challenges of the holiday season, and you can give me some inspiration with your own success stories!

Thanks for reading!

Unofficial weigh in, but it will have to do

I'm still in our NH house this morning, but wanted to keep the weigh in, so I'm using the Wii Fit to log my weigh in today.

This week's weigh in: -1.1 lbs.
Total weight loss: -15.2 lbs.

Also achieved: My third "Five Pounds" star on Weight Watchers, though not yet all the way to 10% loss, though I'm about about a half pound away from that goal.

If I can sustain the 15 lbs down through Christmas (I won't consider it official until after I survive the holidays) I'll be officially half way there!

I've got 4 more weeks until my next "every 10 weeks" check in for photos and measurements. (Jan 4th) But one thing I know I can comment on, in a way different from "my pants don't fit" is about the muscular quality of my thighs. Yeah, I know -- an odd thing to talk about, but I'm kind of psyched about it, so here you go.

Last week, in the power pilates class in NH (on the mats, not the reformer class on the machine that I take back in MA), we were doing an exercise we normally do; we were doing scissor legs where, while lying on our back, we would alternate holding each leg in the air, and pulling closer to our body, to get a good stretch with each alteration. We do this sort of move each week. Well, this time, with each holding of my thighs, I could not believe how muscular they were! Usually, it's much more flab than muscle, but I've noticed just how much muscle mass I've gained in both legs.

Part of this is the pilates class in NH, and a LOT of it is the pilates reformers class that I love, which really focuses on the legs in most classes, in addition to the other parts of the core and the arms. And part of it is just plain being more active, I know. But I'm excited about it because it's an indication of better overall health and strength, once again, reminding myself that this whole journey is not just about the scale.

Dangers this week: well, for starters, we're getting into the holiday season... with less than 3 weeks until Christmas, I expect to start seeing a lot more of baked goods in the office, both home made and gifts from vendors. Last week, I managed to say no thank you to the brownies from a vendor and to the pumpkin spice cake from one of our companies that made it into the office. I am trying to do as close to a zero tolerance policy on this stuff as possible, but I know there are always potential for breaches. AND, if you can believe it, I hope to do some of my OWN holiday baking next weekend (just cookies) and I'm certain I'll have to taste a few of those. I know I can indulge with some moderation, selectively. It's just a matter of making sure I'm making the best choices possible each time I have the opportunity to succeed.

I hope all of you are dealing well with the holiday treats coming into your homes and places of work!

Thanks for reading!

Dinner of temptation in the North End.

Last night, the head of our organization, in a gesture of extreme appreciation for a challenging year for the team, hosted us all at a dinner at my favorite restaurant in the North End (the Italian section of Boston, for those who might not know). There were about 24 of us, and it was a sit down dinner with a selected menu, a great sampling of their larger menu.

I knew it would be a great temptation, and so I needed to do a few things to plan for today. First, I had my cottage cheese and pineapple for breakfast, but for lunch, I had a very small serving of some tuna salad, and that's it -- maybe a scoopful. No other lunch. So, I knew my points would all be spent at dinner, and I could go into my extra points if needed.

I also knew there was no way I was going to actually be able to figure out the points I was going to be eating (in a restaurant, you can't tell if things were cooked in butter or olive oil, what extras went into things, etc), so, I was going to have to estimate on the high side for things.

I spent time looking at the menu before hand, getting comfortable with the overall offerings of the full menu, making mental notes of what might work and might not, if they were serving any or all of the items when we got there. I felt very familiar with the menu when I arrived and was able to make a quick decision when I saw my options.

As for what I had:

To drink: Pinot Noir (with one topping off pour after I'd drank some of the first glass.)

Appetizer: Butternut squash ravioli with browned butter. There were 2 of them, though they were large. Some walnuts were in there, too. I ate none of the bread on the table.

Entree: Oven braised spring chicken (small bird, on the bone) with brussel sprouts and black wild rice. Not a lot of rice (and a lot of trapped under the bird, so took some effort to scoop up more than a forkful or two), and probably 3 or 4 brussel sprouts. Was able to eat a good portion of the meat, but being on the bone, the dinner looks much bigger than it is. It was very moist and tender, really good chicken. And I love brussel sprouts!

Dessert: The dessert offerings were served as sharing plates: 4 of us would be able to try normal serving sizes of espresso pannacotta, apple crisp, a chocolate torte type thing, and an flan. I was very good and tried just two teaspoons full of apple crisp, and left the rest.

All in all, pretty good! I think it was a well balanced meal which didn't involve a lot of extra indulgences either in ingredients or portion sizes. The meal itself was excellent food, and I felt like I had enough of a variety to be able to make good choices for myself. I still wanted to have something a bit "special" as it was a celebratory night out, and so the real indulgence for me was the butternut squash ravioli, rather than a salad.

The best part about the evening was the company - it was great to spend some social time with people I work with and enjoy very much! It helped the celebratory spirit even more than just a special meal.

I'd been down a few ounces since my Monday weigh in, and this morning I'm back up to that level, so probably not too much damage done. I plan to go to the gym tonight and again on Saturday, and both should help for this week to be directionally better than last...

Thanks for reading!

A slip back, as expected, but not so far.

Well, as expected, my Thanksgiving and lax weekend approach ended up in the red. I'll admit, I was relieved that the weight gain wasn't as significant as I feared:

This week's weight: +0.6 lbs
Total weight loss: -14.1 lbs

As I said in my lament post yesterday, I kind of ate poorly the last few days, starting with Thanksgiving (which wasn't offensive, as far as T'giving meal eating displays go), but I just kind of was too relaxed about it all the rest of the weekend. And indulgence here and there. Some chips. Some of the cake I baked for T'giving that we brought back home. 2 of the popcorn dishes at the Red Parka Pub on Saturday instead of one. Went to the gym once instead of two or three times. It adds up.

It adds up to half a pound, actually.

So, this week, another start, as rebirth happens every seven days in these parts.

The challenge this week will be dinner at Mamma Maria's in the North End on Wednesday, a department outing. But I should get to pilates tonight, and to Zumba on Thursday, and to power pilates on Saturday, and ideally, I find a 4th visit somewhere in there...

Hope those of you watching your weight did well this past week, and whether you did or your didn't, I hope you share the same energy of starting over on Monday as I a clinging to right now...

Thanks for reading!

For the record...

... I really don't want to weigh in tomorrow.

I've eaten poorly this past several days, and only worked out one day.

I'm expecting to be punished in a big way tomorrow for relaxing more than I should have over this holiday weekend.

Shame on me.

The good news is tomorrow starts a new week!

Thanks for reading!

Thoughts about the Thanksgiving Meal

I have to admit, I'm not a huge sucker for the Thanksgiving meal as it's traditionally prepared. I like a slice or two of turkey, but that's it. I don't like gravy. I don't like cranberry sauce. I don't like pumpkin pie.

I do enjoy the things like stuffing, mashed potatoes, etc., but to be honest, if it's not my mother's recipe for stuffing, I'm probably good with one scoop. Mashed potatoes, one scoop. I usually enjoy the vegetables (green beans or broccoli are usually available). But in general, I don't indulge too much for the meal.

Now, what I'm talking about is both "generic" Thanksgiving meal, and the meal we currently attend. For the past 3 or so years, Robert and I have been invited to join his cousin's family, about an hour from us. They put on a great meal, but it's different than the one I grew up with. Some challenging temptations at their house are the fresh rolls, the homemade apple butter and apple pies from their own orchard bounty.

It's different than the Thanksgiving I grew up with... up to 20 people or so at Aunt Jeanette's house, with appetizers like 7 layer Mexican bean dip, chopped liver, tons of cheese and crackers, and a few more temptations for an hour before dinner's even served. Then dinner, not only the traditional turkey, but the sides of my mother's stuffing, my mother's sweet potatoes with marshmallows and pecans, my mother's turnips, various extra vegetables, Cousin Terry's mashed potatoes, and Cousin Jackie's multiple pies, and the chocolate with mocha frosting cake... a tradition to celebrate the various late November birthdays, with ice cream, of course. Ohhh... that cake... I've never mastered making that frosting, but I have the recipe, and hope someday to be a success. This is a feast. It is a day of eating that starts around 2 and ends around 7:30 or so... and one thing is better than the next.

Of course, some of the temptation is because the food is fantastic -- we've got a family full of great cooks. But honestly, some of the temptation is just because "that's what you do on Thanksgiving". I'm not sure why it became a day where you're some where between permitted and obligated to consume a week's worth of calories, but it is. And it's a day where everyone prepares recipes using the full butter, heavy cream, all the sugar and fat, because, after all, it's a special occasion... we can splurge for one day!

So, this year, though I miss spending the time with my family, I'm grateful to be away from all those amazing temptations that I associate with growing up and celebrating with my family. Fact is, my folks live in Florida now, and don't attend the family Thanksgiving anymore. So, by definition, even if I went to Long Island for this year's meal, it wouldn't be the same. All in all, it should be easy to go through this meal enjoying some very good food, in moderation, a taste of everything, and an indulgence in nothing.

I hope all of you are able to find some balance in your meals today... get your fill in quality time with family and friends, and enjoy a few tastes here and there.

Happy Thanksgiving, and Thanks for Reading!

Shout out to another making the journey

Today, I want to send a special "attaboy" shout out to my cousin. He, like a lot of us, has struggled with his weight for some of his adult life, and he's had fits and starts of efforts in the past to do something about it.

Lately, he's redoubled, if not retripled, his efforts. I don't know the full details, but he's started a program with very strict guidelines on eating and exercise, and monitoring by professionals, and really taking this more seriously and making it a top priority in his life, like he's never done before (so far as I know).

And he's already seen some great progress in his first few weeks!

I'm proud of him, and rooting for him, all the way.

I have another friend who went through a similar program earlier this year. I saw her last week, and every time I see her, I can't get over how fantastic she looks. She's another inspiration for me! Thanks, Mrs. S.!

To all of you hoping to make it through Thanksgiving with the best of will power, I wish you all the best! And if you slip, remember: tomorrow is another day!

Thanks for reading!

After the 3 weeks of crazy, would the scale move at all?

Last week, as I mentioned, was my last of 3 weeks of unusual hecticness at work -- harder to plan, lunches get forgotten, early mornings and late evenings throw off other aspects of the schedule. And after 2 weeks of almost no change, I didn't know what to expect for sure. I did know I was down some during last week, but I tend to rise up over the weekend, so I didn't get too excited about it. But, I have to say, I'm pleasantly surprised at where it came in:

This week's weight: -2.6 lbs
Total weight so far: -14.7 lbs

I have to say, I'm a bit surprised, since I only made it to the gym once, and I ate okay, but not perfectly. I think it was a bit a function of adrenaline as well (busy weeks can do that, I think). So, we'll see if it stays at this level or rises up over the next few weeks as it gets a bit more normalized.

I am really starting to see a shift in how my clothes fit, too. We went to a cocktail party on Saturday night, and my "go to" black pants just didn't fit like they used to, and I was swimming in them a bit. I might have to go get a new pare of those. :-) As for how I did at the party, I had one fantastic cocktail, and kept myself to that limit. I didn't find I needed more, and felt my indulgence didn't need to be an overindulgence. I also stayed away from the food - I'd already had dinner and didn't need anything else. I was happy with my restraint, and I think it was part of what led to my success this week.

My one unusual indulgence was on Friday night, after the long week of work, where I treated myself to a fantastic chocolatini, which was basically a drinkable dessert. Again, I had one.

But, we all know, this is Thanksgiving week, which not only means access to more food which is usually on the more fattening or more rich side, but also a few days off (I'm working on Friday, but it will be sloooooow) lends to some of the undisciplined time around snacking and meals. So, I'm obviously concerned, as I think all people who struggle with their weight get heading into the holiday season, but this is just one week out of the next 6 or so which will all have indulgences and temptation heading my way. I won't win them all, but I'll focus on what I can and take each week at a time.

Thanks to all my new readers for spending time getting to know my blog! Great to have you! And thanks to ALL my readers for your support... it's a big big part of my success!

Thanks for reading!

How do I know when it's time to make a change?

When the scale hasn't moved in two weeks, I think that's probably a sign. Last week I was down 0.2 pounds. This week I'm back up the 0.2 pounds, so I'm where I was 2 weeks ago.

Yes, I did say that this was going to be a crazy few weeks where I couldn't necessarily plan well or rely on a routine.

Given that, what was I expecting, really?

On one hand, I probably expected it to be worse than it is. On the other, was I hoping for an inexplicable shift? That I can magically melt away weight eating abnormally and going to the gym 2 or 3 times? Probably not realistic.

I do have one more week of crazy to go, but this week might not be as bad as the previous 2. (Famous last words, I know), so I'll see how we can readdress this stagnation a bit more thoughtfully.

On a positive note, my body fat percentage is down another point, officially moving that lever more than 10% from where we started. A lot further to go, but a small victory I'll take.

This week's weight: +0.2 lbs
This weeks body fat percentage: -1%
BMI Change: 0


Thanks for reading!

Quick Thought : It's been a long time...

... since I've been late getting to work because I was having trouble finding clothes that fit, but this time was in a completely different direction!

(and, no, I didn't even have enough time to post this post. :-) )

Thanks for reading!

A "bottom ten" list to work on...

I had lunch with a friend this week and told him about my diet and my plan so far. He mentioned he was frustrated with not being in as great a shape as he used to be, and asked me how I was managing to focus on the changes. He mentioned a few things about his eating that he knew was standing in his way - work day and lunches, eating with a family that doesn't face the same concerns about weight, still drinking soda (diet, but still...)

I encouraged him that one easy way to start was to think of all things he might think aren't great about his eating habits, and write them down. Come up with 10 things. Pick 3 he could do something about.

Even I'm already 3 months into my own journey, I thought it would make some sense for me to do a retro snapshot of what I would have listed had someone asked me to do the same things. And I also thought it would be good to think about what I would do about any or all of them. So here's my list (circa July):

1. I'm bad at eating breakfasts
2. I don't get enough protein
3. I don't get enough fiber
4. I eat too much in terms of fatty foods (especially the fried stuff and the chips)
5. I don't snack well
6. I need to work on portion control, especially the large Sebastians lunches, which are healthier but big
7. I probably have too much candy... my Chewy Spree break most afternoons probably isn't good.
8. I like baked goods for a breakfast or snack (doughnuts, muffins, bagels, etc)
9. I don't drink enough water
10. Did I mention the chips?

So, if that's the list (and it's a fair one) here is my plan for a few of them:

1. Breakfast: Doing much better at this, and using it as an opportunity for protein rather than carbs.
2. Protein: Focusing on lean protein, getting it at breakfast and at lunch, making sure i get it before being forced into a dinner choice.
3. Fiber: This was a big one. FiberOne yogurt and FiberOne bars are a big help!
4. Fatty Foods: much better at this, but still an occasional indulgence...
5. Better Snacking: The FiberOne bars are a go to snack at this point. This kills 2 birds with one stone.
6. Portion control, especially lunch: I'm much better at making and bringing lunch, and making better choices on smaller lunches when I don't.
7. Candy: Two things: a) I haven't had any chewy sprees since this started b) I realized this week that I didn't have ANY CANDY this Halloween candy this year. Not one piece. I wasn't even trying to achieve that goal... I've just had that much less candy, and much less of a craving or a taste for it.
8. Baked goods: I haven't had a single doughnut since this diet started.
9. Water: Um.... I drink more water when I go to the gym, but, yeah.... not so good on this one.
10. Did I mention the chips? They're still an issue. Not as bad as they were, but still there. I love the chips. Dammit.

So, not so bad, all around. Some big progress on a few, and some challenges still linger. Weight Watchers really helped to get things kick started, but things like the candy and the fiber and some other things have just naturally worked their way into my cravings and tastes. That's a great thing, and I'm happy it took less than 3 months to be more of a natural shift, rather than still feeling like an exercise in learning and practicing what good would look like. It's just ACTUALLY good, rather than trying to be good.

I hope my friend can find a few things that work for him. I bet he'd be able to take on much more... in a good way! And I'm happy that he's inspired me to think about my own situation, which I know I need to keep doing, every step of the way.

Thanks for reading!

20% of this journey in my rear view mirror.

Week 12. Almost three months on this journey. 20% into it, and about 40% to goal. That ratio is in my favor, but I still have a long way to go.

First, to the weigh in. If you read this weekend's post, you'll know that I woke up braced for a gain.

This week's weight: -0.2lbs.

Well, of course, I'm happy with no gain, and even a little bit of negative movement on the scale. I'm not sure I have a great explanation for it, except I ate pretty well (not perfectly, but pretty well), and going to the gym twice is better than going to the gym never, but still, not a fantastic effort. I find myself wondering "If I had gone to Zumba once last week, would that number be a half pound?"

But I know getting into that kind of Monday morning rewrites of last week's plan does nothing for me. All I can focus on is this week, which I know will have some challenges of last week, and it also includes two lunch plans with colleagues, which always presents a hurdle (the lunch at a restaurant, not the colleagues part).

So, it's a Monday. Waking with a weigh in officially closes out last week, but I'm already concerned about the week ahead. There's little in terms of downtime between the two, but I guess the same goes for every challenge in life. I'll make it through this week, and then week 3 of this unusual period at work follows right behind it. Then I can back to a normal work schedule.

I don't want to make it seem like my work is a cake-walk the other 49 weeks a year; that's not my point. My point is that my time is a little bit more schedulable, I can count on having evenings where I can go to the gym and energy where I can do things, I can usually ensure that I'll get to have lunch at a normal time, and not some vending machine attack at 3:45, etc. It's not the work that's crazy; it's the impact on my ability to manage my schedule a bit more solidly. The work is good stuff, almost entirely great stuff, even. The impact on my diet and exercise is that bad part.

Thanks for reading!

Dealing with an unusual work week

This week has turned out to be as hectic at work as I expected it would be, and the next 2 weeks will be just as hectic. (I'm validated a bit by knowing my colleagues all thought this week was just as crazy, and it wasn't just me!)

When faced with the atypical schedule and energy, I've been trying to focus on eating okay, and getting to the gym has been secondary. This past week, I did the pilates reformer class at the home gym, and the power pilates class at the NH gym on Saturday, but nothing during the week. This coming week, I am working 3 half days in Cambridge, and anticipating a lot more instability in how I manage my week, food and exercise wise. I know it will all get back to "normal" soon, ironically, the week of Thanksgiving, and so I just have to stay with it until then.

Power pilates yesterday was tough -- working on the arms, tummy and butt, mainly. One thing I love about this class is that it is different every time -- different equipment, different music, different exercises on the same muscle groups, etc. Misty and I are the youngest people in the class, and we struggle the most (so humbling!) It's always funny when we get a "Nice job in the back!" comment from the instructor, clearly aimed at us finally getting something. Misty has more endurance and strength, and I have more flexibility, but between the two of us, we each are always struggling with something.

The instructor, Elaine, has high energy and is encouraging, but I'll admit she has one fatal flaw: She's terrible at math. I say this because she regularly shouts apparently irrelevant comments like "Eight More!" when she clearly means like 20. Or "Only 4 more!" When "4" means "4 repetitions of this one thing each time for 16 more!" I try to tune her out, because I only resent her when we get to the count down and she was evidently just joking about that "only 8 more" thing. Now I try to tell myself "Only 8 more means only 8 more until she really tells us how many might be left maybe". Ugh. We got through the class, though, and though I'm still sore today, I expect a few more advil will take it all away.

But one of the reasons I struggled was because I definitely have a case of Wii shoulder! We got Wii Resort Sports, and one of the games on there I like very much is the sword fighting games. I'm good at them (something I don't run into a lot) and they're fun, so I played them quite a bit, but my shoulder was killing me by the end. We also bowled a bit, and did some table tennis and archery (also very fun), so, I'm a little sore. (Robert, on the other hand is obsessively trying to beat his personal best on the 3 point contest in the basketball game). Oh, and I learned that I am just as bad at virtual frisbee as I am in real frisbee. Seriously, I embarrass myself. But I'm having fun with the Wii, and glad we have it as an additional way to stay a little active as the weather gets in the 30's here in NH. (Sure, Robert's doing a 3-stage bicycle race in this weather... I suppose he's doing just fine at staying active in this weather!)

This week, I plan to go to Pilates reformer and go to the gym at least one more time this week. Ideally, 2 visits beyond the reformer visit. We'll be in MA this coming week, so no power pilates class, but another option for an at home gym class. Wish me luck!

Tomorrow's another weigh-in day. I hope to be at no more than +1, but I'm expecting a small gain. Hopefully, that's all I'll see!

Thanks for reading!

Back to good week in all counts!

Good results on the scale this week - very happy!

this week's weigh in: -2 lbs.
Total" -12.1 lbs.

I've also brought my BMI down past 2 full points. BMI wasn't a specific goal of mine at the beginning, but it obviously goes hand in hand with the weight loss, and since there's technically a definition of a 'normal' range, I'm happy to incorporate any kind of measurement which helps track my progress as we go.

No change to body fat percentage, but I think I continue to make good progress there, anyway.


I'm still averaging a bit over a pound a week, which is great, of course.

Other highlights from this past week:

• I officially went to my gym 8 times again in October. Got another 100 points! (I also went to the NH gym for 2 pilates classes, but those are just extra).
• I did much better getting back to basics with the WW points last week. One day wasn't so good, but the rest were fine.
• I officially bagged up all my pants from the size I recently exited and put them in storage. Not sure I have the guts to rid of them altogether (god knows my recent stint in that size was a return trip), but it's nice to have them out of sight at this point.

I am worried that I'm headed into a busy few weeks at work, and how that impacts my ability to eat at regular times, control hunger, control snacking, get to the gym, etc. It should be busy the next 4 - 5 weeks, and Thanksgiving is in that period, too, so I know I'm entering a challenge period. I'm going to have to work harder at all the things that work for me in order to get through it without slipping backwards. Wish me luck!

Thanks for reading!

My Accidental Biggest Loser Moment.

I've been watching The Biggest Loser for a few years. One of my favorite parts of the season is when they do the physical challenge in which the contestants have to carry or lift or use some sort of effort to stave off the exact amount of weight they've lost while on the ranch. It's such a huge realization to them of just how far they've come, and how much they've really done to achieve their new body.

Today, I inadvertently had that kind of an experience. One of my errands today was to take the spare change to the Coinstar machine. So, I had a vinyl bag, kind of like a large pencil case or make-up bag, and i filled it with the coins, so I could walk to the supermarket on my way to the gym and get rid of them.

I could not believe how heavy it was! At first, I was excited, because I knew it meant I was going to have a really nice sized Amazon eCertificate when I cashed them all in. It was awkward to lift and heavy no matter which hand I planned to carry it in. And I was going to walk and carry it? Maybe I should wait until later and get the car? No... this will be good for me. I'll do it.

But then I had this idea to weigh it, to see if I was crazy to try and carry it.

Eleven pounds. Pretty much the weight I've lost so far.

I'm struggling to carry the exact same amount of weight that was on my body just 2 months ago.

I was shocked. Sure, on TBL, they're lifting 50 - 100 pounds by the time they get to that part of the season, so their shock is understandable. But I don't think it would have been that different. You suddenly imagine that this was the equivalent of a big block of fat that weighed 11 pounds that came off the body some where. It's sad, but it's also inspiring that it's a good measurement of progress, and what that progress really means. And yes, of course I could go to the gym and lift 11 pounds as a proxy, but it's different. I wasn't going in intending to do that, and bracing myself for the psychology of the act. It was just an accident. A happy accident.

So, that was my moment for the day. My amazon account is now $145 richer, and then went to the gym. Not bad.

Thanks for reading!

Pluses and Minuses, where Pluses are bad, and Minuses are good.

So, this is a bit of a mixed results posting. The Pluses are bad, but the minuses are good. Stay with me and you'll see how it unfolds...

First, as I expected, I actually gained a little weight this week. Not only did I indulge this weekend for our anniversary dinner (including fantastic carrot cake with creamchees frosting from Rosie's!) but I ate poorly last week in general, some driven by PMS, some driven by laziness. But, the damage wasn't as bad as it could be:

Weight loss this week: + 0.4 lbs.
Total loss: -10.1 lbs.

Not tragic, and not completely unexpected but still a little disappointing. I am confident this comes from not being as good about eating as I had been. I've vowed to get back to the diligent point counting I'd strayed from a bit, starting with yesterday.

One reason it's as disappointing as it is is because I went to the gym 4 times last week -- 3 of them were more cardio visits or a good blend of cardio and other. I really wished my first week of "more days in the gym than not" would have been rewarded with numbers, but I know it's my own fault.

But it's not all bad. I did bring my body fat down another point (that was definitely a function of the gym), and that's a good thing.

Here's one other good thing. I'm 10 weeks into this journey, so I decided to do two things.

1) Took updated pictures. (no, still not posting them). I was able to see a few differences, and that felt good.

2) Took updated measurements. When I started this, I decided to get some baseline measurements on the standard areas: bust, waist, hips, arms, thighs. I figure these measurements are a lot more slow to move, so every 10 weeks sounded like a good thing (7 total measurements in my 60 weeks).

I was really surprised by what I found. My Bust/Waist/Hips measurement was down a total of 5 inches, pretty evenly spread! Arms and thighs down slightly, but nothing to get too excited about.

5 inches down, another body fat point down, and less than half a pound up? I'll take it! :-)

Thanks for reading!

Good thing I started a month ago!

It's our First Wedding Anniversary tomorrow, and Robert and I are up in NH. We're going out to dinner tonight, and I expect I'll have a tasty dinner and I'll have dessert. Last night, we opened a bottle of champagne, and I had a glass of that. It's nice to celebrate here and there all weekend. Yay us! I realize it can put my week's weightloss at risk, but I'm okay with that for a special occasion. :-)

This morning, however, my friend, Misty, and I went to our 3rd session of the Power Pilates class in the gym up here. The first class we took (4 weeks ago?) was a killer, and it took us days to recover. The second class, I handled much better, and the exercises got a bit easier to handle. This class today, man-oh-man, she kicked our butt. I expect that the recovery from this class will be a bit harder.

I think I can also say, though, that if THIS had been the first class we took with her, she might have scared me into never taking a second class! I honestly think this one was much tougher, and I don't know that I would have been able to talk myself into starting with a class like this. But at this point, I've gained enough stamina and strength to get through such a tough class, and come back for more. (in 2 more weeks, but still...)

Thanks for reading! (And Happy Anniversary, My Husband!)

Humiliating, but for a good cause.

I am not a sexy latina woman. I am also not an undiscovered hip hop sensation. But I think breast cancer sucks.

What does all of that have to do with each other?

I attended ZUMBA-THON at my gym tonight!

Our gym was doing a breast cancer research fund raising event tonight. You could make a donation and participate in either the Zumba-thon or the Spin-a-thon (Robert did that one). So, I took the 7:00 hour event tonight.

If you don't know what Zumba is, it's a latin-inspired cardio/aerobics class, often with some mix of hip hop included. Here's actually a good example of it being taught in a gym, rather than other videos I could post, with a bunch of professional exercises for some sort of instruction video. (Oh -- and if I were in this particular class on the video, I'd be feeling north of average, I think.)

My class was taught by a woman who is insanely skinny and equally energized. She makes it pretty easy to get "into" the class, but my lack of coordination certainly slowed me up a bit. I'm a special brand of horrible at this, and I look as awkward in it as I feel, I am sure. But I can see how doing the class more often with the same instructor, so that you learn her particular choreography, can make it easier, if only because you eventually learn to anticipate what is coming next. This instructor normally teaches Thursday evenings and, though I have plans already this week, I can see trying to work this class into a normal schedule for me as part of my routines.

But no matter how much I do it, or how good I get at learning the moves of the dance, I am still not going to be a sexy latina woman. I will continue to be very awkward looking. I'll get over it. :-)

In the meantime, yay me for working out AND raising money for a good cause!

Thanks for reading!

Another goal achieved

Ten Pounds Lost. Well, 10.5 pounds, to be more accurate. Took me 9 weeks, when I was hoping for doing it in 15 or so.

This week: -1.6 lbs
Total: -10.5 lbs

I'm almost at 1.9 points down on my BMI. And I'm now officially below my wedding weight from a year ago.

I have to say, this is a bit of a surprise. On Friday, the scale hadn't budget much. I put in some extra time over the weekend, but I also know I didn't eat as well (food itself was fine, but just not enough points). So, I was worried that I'd be reporting a less-than-one-pound loss for this week. I'm glad to not have to do that!

My reference to not eating so well applies to most of last week, actually. I didn't do well with points (mainly under) and I'm finding that I'm still good at breakfast and lunch, and not as organized for dinner. One aspect of that is that I ran out of frozen meals, which had been helping a bit. I did go shopping this weekend and buy at least a week's worth, so we'll see if I can use those to get back on track. The other thing is that there were chips in the house, which of course then mean there were chips in my mouth. It's not that my servings were bad (they weren't), it's just harder to deal with temptation when there's a bag in the house, and each chip seems like a gateway to the next 5.

I've got a busy week ahead, but between my pilates reformer class, one other trip to the gym, and the power pilates class on Saturday back up in NH, I hope to be getting in 3 if not 4 work outs this week. And this coming weekend is Robert and my first wedding anniversary, so I definitely expect a splurge dinner out on Saturday night up in NH to celebrate. Not sure I'll have the same good report next week! :-)

Thanks for reading!

Mid-Way Rewards and Expensive Pants

It was suggested a bit ago that I work on developing some mini-goals for both targets and rewards along the way.

I thought of something last week that I put in my mind as a 'half way' reward:

When I hit 15 pounds (which I hope to be by Christmas, but we'll see!) I'd like to treat myself to a cute outfit from lululemon. I don't any yet, and figure this would be a great reward.

Do you know lululemon? They're expensive as hell. Like, shockingly expensive. So, are they worth it?

People I know who have them love them. Reviews I've read rave. They usually mention:

• Extremely well made - better than any other brand out there
  
• Fit very well (they come in even numbered sizes, rather than SML, so you can get a better fit)
• VERY supportive bra tops for girls of my particular sveltitude
• Free alterations on pants (for girls of my particular shortitude)
• Rumor has it, they make your ass look amazing. I don't think that's the category I'll be hunting for in my particular size, but it's nice to know it's out there.

Why not make this a 10 pound goal?Yes, I've done well so far. Here's the thing: They only sell sizes up to a 12 (though 14 appears on their size chart, I don't see them offered anywhere). I'm JUST fitting back into 12's again, and I want to make sure I'm much more confidently resident there (if not a 10!) before I lay down $100 for some yoga pants or something.

Do you have any lululemon? what are your thoughts? What do you think of this as a mid-way-to-goal reward?

Thanks for reading!

I like it, so, let's do it more.

I think we've covered that I am not doing well at enjoying exercise and going to the gym (or any other place) in order to get used to the process. I'm continuing to try different ways to incorporate exercise, cardio or not cardio, and making it a more frequent part of my week.

Of all the exercising classes and such that I've taken, both recently and in the past almost 2 years since I joined our gym, I like the pilates classes the best. Pilates, if you don't know, is based on exercises which work all the muscle groups of the body, but mainly focusing on developing strength in the core. If done correctly and over time, it can really increase core strength, strength in other muscle groups, and impact spine health (in a good way). It involves flexibility and stretching and focused breathing, like yoga, but also involves resistance training and in some cases, weight training. It's not cardio, so it won't replace other exercise, but it's a great way to get some strength training in, especially to help lengthen and make more lean.

Most people will get involved with "mat-based" pilates, which means doing the exercise on a yoga mat, maybe with a stability ball, or a ring, to help with some of the resistance exercise. It burns calories (at my level and weight, probably about 350 an hour). Last week and the week before, I was able to take a "power pilates" class, which used the basic pilates mat and hand weights or medicine balls, and that probably brought the calorie count up a little bit, too.

Yesterday, however, I got to try a more involved version of Pilates - the Pilates Reformer. This workout is based entirely on a machine that looks a bit like a torture machine, with spring loaded movable platforms and cables which can be attached to the arms or legs. There is a lot more attention to the precision of movement, and I could tell that every exercies I've done on the mat is much more intense when done with this kind of resistance from the reformer machine. I got the hang of most things quickly, and I can definitely feel a few of the exercises taking their toll on me today.

I liked the free "exposure clinic" I took, with a 30 minute primer on all the basic moves and the muscle groups impacted, and I decided as another motivator to continue to get me into the gym and to work on some of my muscle and strength issues, I'd sign up for 5 weekly sessions of pilates reformer training. I really like the instructor (I've taken her mat classes) and I think the personal attention (well, one of 5 people, at least) will really help me correct some issues that I'm a bit more blind to in these kinds of exercises.

So, that's my next experiment, for weeks 10 - 14 of this journey. This is also a good reminder for me that this whole thing is not just about weight loss; it's about being more fit and healthy, and that's going to have to come from lots of different sources.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Thanks for reading!

What I learned from Alton Brown

The other evening, Robert and I were able to attend a one hour Q&A with Alton Brown this week. He was promoting his new book (Good Eats, the Early Years), and rather than give a prepared talk, he just took questions from the audience. Pretty far into it, someone asked him how he'd manage to transform himself. If you're familiar with Alton Brown, and you haven't seen him recently, you may be surprised to know he's lost nearly 50 pounds since March. He looks great.

He said, "I realized there was this hole in my head, and when I filled it with crap, my waist got bigger". Of course that got a laugh, but he went on to say he really decided he needed to treat his love a food like an addiction, and as with all addictions, "moderation" doesn't cut it. You don't give a heroin addict just a little bit, he said. The key to success for him, however, was in his food log that he started before embarking on any diet change. He wrote everything down, and a normal day would include cake and cookies, and that was before lunch. But as he wrote EVERYTHING down, he'd see things like:

"Entire sleeve of Girl Scout Cookies. Glass of Milk."
"Half a carton of ice cream. Glass of Milk."
"4 cupcakes. Glass of Milk."

So, he did what anyone might do. He stopped drinking milk.

What he realized was that everything tastes best with a glass of milk. And when he stopped drinking the milk, the other things weren't as enjoyable as they used to be. It's a trigger food for all the other bad stuff. Before too long, he was able to limit himself to having sweets only once a week. After a month or so, he realized he didn't need the sweets at all. So, he's off sweets, when before, they were huge in his diet.

I was really interested by all this. The things I got from this were (1) Know your trigger foods and (2) you can really change some habits, especially eating, by extinguishing it over time. I was thinking of this tonight, as I came home from the gym, and feeling that some of the things I've been doing have been getting a bit easier. I've also had a bit more energy in the gym, and a bit more enthusiasm for things.

I'm not sure I've really made any real changes in my fabric or if I've really changed any of my habits for good yet. But I can feel that I'm closer to it than it was, and that feels like a good thing. There's a lot left ahead of me, but I'm still on track to get better.

Thanks for reading!

Ups and Downs, and a few points to make.

Well, I had a wonderful weekend with my folks, and I was sad to see it end. And, yes, there was a lot of food. I did okay. Robert says I did very well. I dunno. What I do know is, all in all, I weighed in this morning, and I did have a net loss:

This week: -0.6 lbs.

Total weight: -8.9 lbs.

A few points of note from the last few days of my life:

1) I weighed myself before going to NH. If I'd called it then, I would have lost more than 2 lbs. last week. I was almost at 11 lbs on Thursday morning. So, I really did gain about 1 and a half lbs back this weekend.

2) There were lots of temptation, but what I was good at was portion control. A taste of a few things, but no seconds of anything. I ate very well at breakfast and lunch, and dinners were a bit more full. I did, however, refuse, much to my mother's chagrin, to have a birthday cake this weekend, but there were some cookies, and there was some gingerbread, and I tasted each.

3) Misty and I went to the Power Pilates class again on Saturday. We did much better, and the recovery time was much more reasonable this time! :-)

4) I had to go pants shopping, because I'm definitely DOWN A SIZE since this started. It felt great... and I'm glad I have some new clothes that look good. I didn't get a ton -- just a few pairs, on extreme sale at the outlets, but it will help out for a while.

5) I've now had a few people (who know I'm dieting) tell me that they can start to see some of the weight loss, especially in my face. Makes me feel good!

I'm 8 weeks into it, and feeling like I'm gaining some good ability to get to a 10 pound loss in the next 2 weeks, and staying focused.

Thanks for reading!

The next challenge... comfort foods meant to make me happy. In droves.

Well, I'm coming up on two important milestones this weekend.

The first is that Thursday is my birthday, which means that the countdown to 40 is now at one year... Feeling okay about it!

The second is that my parents are coming to visit for a visit to our NH place for a few days... and my mom is very excited to do a lot of cooking for us. Pot Roast, sweet potatoes, meat loaf, stuffed french toast, desserts, etc.

Now, my mother is aware I'm dieting. She's also aware that the kinds of food she makes and the amount of food she makes isn't what we normally would eat -- richer, fatter, more calories, etc. But this is how she likes to spend her time, and what she likes to do, and it makes her happy, and I want her to be happy. So, what that means for me is tasting/trying a number of things, with minimal portions, and keeping balanced for the other meals of the day.

Oh, and she's a fantastic cook, so those minimal portions are going to be a challenge.

Wish me luck!

In other news, eating this week has been okay. Lower on points than I should be, but also, with the big weekend coming up, and lots of temptation, I'm trying to just approach the week with saving a bit more on the calories. I know that's not what I'm supposed to do, but I'm just figuring the week will be a little bit of a crap shoot.

I'll be in NH until Monday night, so next week's weigh in will be on Tuesday.

Thanks for reading!

Hurts so bad, it must be good.... right?

This past Saturday, my friend, Misty and I decided to drop into a class at a gym near the NH place called "Power Pilates". I didn't know what to expect, but was interested in checking it out. I've taken plenty of mat-based pilates classes over the past couple of years, some with props (ring, stability ball, etc) and some just with the mat. But I hadn't taken anything with the word "power" in it.

Before the class, the instructor, noticing we were new, came over to introduce herself, understand our baseline, and tell us what we needed to know about the class.

She explained a few things. This class is an intense class, using weights and pilates techniques. The goal is to work several (all?) of the muscle groups, and work them to the point of fatigue. It's meant to help slim the body rapidly. She likes to get the heart rate up early, and keep it there. The class is designed to target 400 calorie loss. She said we will be sore, and some women end up so completely sore, it's a challenge to get off the toilet. Um, okay.

I've never taken a 400 calorie loss pilates class before. This scared me.

The class was good. It was intense. Ten minutes into it, I wasn't sure I'd make it the full hour. We'd gotten our weights (I took 3 lbs. comfortable that I was being a total wimp, and Misty took 5 lb weights, god bless her) and was really surprised by how many reps we did with each exercise. That fatigue thing? Yup. Got there. Those 3 lb weights? May as well have been 20 lbs, by the time I was 20 minutes into it.

After about 35 minutes, I knew it was tough, but I also knew I'd make it. An exercise or two, I gave up on the last rep or so, but mainly did everything. The things that required flexibility, I was good at. The things that required strength, not so much. (yes, 3 lbs. I get the lame-ness.)

One unusal distraction? The workout was entirely coordinated with the alternating fast and slow songs on a Genesis Greatest Hits album. A nice change from all the electronified (not a real word) pop music that's often in classes. Helped with the high energy, and, except for one song that completely reminded me of an old boyfriend and a heartache from 20 years ago, it was nice to revisit some old favorites.

At the end of the class, the instructor came over to thank us for coming, and reinforcing the need for us both to stretch, and told us again that we'll be sore.

And she was right. 2 days later, and EVERYTHING HURTS. Quads, hamstrings, upper and lower abs, obliques, glutes, delts, triceps, biceps, whatever the muscle is between my shoulder blades, and even my neck. EVERYTHING. It's really crazy. I'd heard people talk about doing Jillian Michael's 30-day shred and saying that everything was sore for days, but I didn't understand what they meant. I now understand.

So, the question is, does all this soreness mean that it's a good class, or a bad class? I think it is probably good, but I'm not sure... But I think it's worth giving a shot one more time. Though I can't spend 3 days recovering from it... that doesn't seem well balanced, does it?

The gym makes it easy to try this out, and that will help me give it another shot. They have a 10-visit card that I purchased. They don't expire, which is good -- I don't have the pressure of trying to use it all within a short period of time (or the guilt of wasting the money by not using it within a short period of time).

It's nice to get an alternative exercise outing into the mix, so I'm hopeful that, well, that which doesn't kill me, will make me stronger. Wish me luck. (running off to download Genesis' greatest hits...)

Thanks for reading!

Survived vacation... now to face the music (the scales?)

Hello! I've been out of touch... I hope you're still with me! And I want to say hello to my new readers! Thank you for your support - the comments mean a lot to me, and are helpful!

As you recall, I was going to be a bit off line because of my vacation to Washington State (which was great!) and I'd hoped to catch up on the blog this weekend, but the internet connection in NH was out. So, here we are, on weigh in day.

When last I posted, I was concerned about how vacation might derail me. I think I may have gained a pound while away (not terrible), so I was anticipating a slip today in my posts.

Results:

This weigh in: - 0.8 lbs.

MILESTONE: Achieved Weight Watchers 5% loss goal!

Yes, so, I didn't gain overall in the 2 week period, and even thought the weight loss was just under a pound, It did help me get to the first Weight Watchers goal -- lose 5% of body weight. Not terrible in just 7 weeks!

While I was away, I did okay with eating. On the pluses, I had good breakfasts and lunches. The negatives were that the dinners were a bit more rich than I had been used to (we ate out two of the four nights) and I probably snacked a little more than I had been doing, though nothing extreme. The travel days (airplane peanuts, snacks in the airport, etc) were more challenging, but not dreadful. In terms of exercise, had one good session at Mary's gym (thanks, Mary!) and we went for a long walk one evening, and another smaller one our last morning. And of course, plenty of 6.5lb. (though certainly 7 lbs by the time we left!) "weight" lifting, holding my new nephew for several hours a day... :-)

Since we came back super late on Wednesday, I haven't been to our gym yet, but I did go to a gym up in NH with my friend, Misty, this weekend. I'm going to post about that separately. Oh, and I'll also post about this coming weekend... the toughest challenge yet: My parents are coming to visit, and my mom will be cooking a ton. My mom is an excellent cook, and loves to cook... gotta stay focused!

Thanks for being here for my first big milestone, and Thanks for reading!

I did it! (mini-goal achievement!)

Well, I made it to my mini-goal of going to the gym 8 times in one month, and earning 100 fitness reward points.

I actually went 9 times! And, given that, in the month of September, I was really only in town for 20 evenings (i don't go to the gym in the mornings), I think 9 out of 20 is pretty fricken great!

I had a good week eating-wise. Much more regular in my points, and, despite the new television shows (which provide a great opportunity to sit and snack) I still did very well. Very few "indulgences" this week, except for a cocktail tonight at one of our favorite places tonight - I couldn't resist trying "homemade limecello". Limoncello, sure, but LIMEcello? Yessir!

We're headed out of town for 5 days, going to visit family, and I will get to do plenty of weight-lifting, about 6 pounds at a time -- picking up my new little nephew, Luke! Mary, my sister-in-law, has offered to have me go with her to her gym, so that will help stay on track. And Mary and Joe are sensible eaters, and so it's not like the food we'll encounter on vacation will be too overwhelming. I've saved all my extra points, and earned several activity points, so I don't have to worry too much about my eating, and can splurge a couple of meals, too.

I won't be weighing in again until next Thursday... I hope to at least stay flat!

Thanks for reading!

One great meal, in many ways.

I wanted to mention something that went well last week.

I went out to dinner with some great friends on Friday night. 6 of us went to a fantastic, Tuscan-style Italian restaurant outside of Boston. (Tomasso's Trattoria in Southborough, for you local folks).

I knew this was going to be a challenge. This is a place that serves a number of courses, and the food is supposed to be excellent. But I had a lot of things going for me:

1) This restaurant is known for extremely fresh and local produce, organic proteins, etc. That led me to believe that the food I'd be eating would be more of healthier preparation, so I wasn't going to have food weighed down with extra sauces, etc.

2) With multiple courses, it also means the portion sizes are smaller. I'd have a good opportunity to get a good variety of tastes and foods, but not have huge portions to wade through.

3) Eating more slowly is always a good thing, and Tuscan-style eating lends itself to slower eating.

4) The menu was posted online, so I could review some of the choices plan ahead. (We also got to the restaurant a bit early, and took advantage of that time, too).

5) I knew that I wanted to drink red wine, and just committed before hand that drinking red wine meant eating NO bread. (I stuck to this)

So, my dinner was fantastic. This is what I had:

Appetizer course: Grilled watermelon (about a cup or a cup and a half), about 2 tablespoons of very smooth goat cheese and mint.

Entree: I had a "pasta course" size (half the entree size) of fresh pasta - about 5 pieces of pasta with fresh sauce - very hearty - of heirloom tomatoes. No cheese. Had a side of about a cup of roasted zucchini (some olive oil on the bottom, was able to eat it without getting too much of the oil.

Dessert: A "children's order" of gelato.

Wine - probably the equivalent of 3 glasses of wine, I'm guessing.

My best guess on points: 15. I'd had 8 prior in the day, so I really only went into my extra 35 points by 3. Not bad!

All in all, these are great choices. I think I did really well, and still managed to enjoy a great dinner with friends and not worry about my diet getting in the way. Or worry about worrying about my diet get in the way.

Thanks for reading!

"Did you have fun at the gym?"

Robert asks me this just about every time I come home from the gym. I don't know why he asks me this, since every time my response is:

"No. The gym is not fun. The gym is never fun. I don't like going to the gym. I don't like working out. I do it because I know I must, but the answer to that question will never be 'Yes'."

I'm not sure why I have such an aversion to it. I really just hate it. Part of it is the fact that I'm heavy means that most everything is more work than it should be. And being heavy means you can't run or do cardio classes without feeling the fat be in your way. It's just a feeling to abhor.

Part of it is the monotony of things like the treadmill or the bike, where I watch the clock, desperate for the time to pass more quickly than it does. My success there is dependent on my ability to get myself to committing to staying on the machine through one more song... Classes are better in terms of the monotony, but have the downside of being VERY public. Other people can see that I'm not coordinated, I'm struggling with particular moves, or I don't seem to be working as hard as someone else in the class. Worse, there's not much room for an honorable escape. If I am struggling after 45 minutes in a 60 minute class, I don't have much of an opportunity to just scoot out. And I'd feel a bit of shame if I were to do that any way.

Outside of the gym, taking a walk around the neighborhood or something - that's a pleasant alternative in terms of scenery, sure, but I certainly work no where near as hard.

I don't know that I'm the kind of person that will ever enjoy exercising. I know people who do (and am married to one), and it's just a different wiring. So my continued challenge is "how do I stay motivated to continue to engage in a behavior I don't enjoy, and don't anticipate enjoying" on a multi-day-per-week basis?

So far, the goal I've set for September (8 visits in one month will get me 100 rewards points from the gym), has been a good challenge. Even though we're out of town for 11 possible gym days this month, meaning I need to do 8 visits in 19 days, I am still anticipating it to be doable. (I'm at 6 right now, and have 4 more possible visit days in September). Not sure why that's been a helpful goal and structure to work with, and I hope that I both meet it and am able to use it again next month. (the next level up for rewards points, by the way is 15 visits in a month. I don't see that happening for several reasons, and I'm okay with that._ Last week, I missed 2 very obvious opportunities to go. No excuse, other than dread and laziness. Now this week, I have the "two more visit" pressure which will help, but it's not about the exercise I will do there; it's about the visit credit. That gets to part of the goal, but not the "want to exercise" part of it.

I've got the right equipment -- a really good gym (seriously) that's less than a half mile walk from my house, a good mp3 player and enjoyable and motivating playlist, cute and comfortable clothing, good sneakers, and a recent shorter haircut that helps keep the hair out of my face and off my neck. I don't think I'm missing anything in terms of that support. I just lack any emotional and psychological connection to the work that gets done, and getting excited enough to motivate to go sometimes. It's something I still need to work on, and, quite frankly, I don't know that I will ever get there.

When I was approaching our wedding last year, for several months (6) I worked once a week with a personal trainer. THIS was a bit different... I won't say it was fun (it wasn't) but there were several times (not every) where after the workout, I could feel good about what I had accomplished, could feel that I was very clearly stronger than I was in previous sessions, and I had fantastic support from my trainer. (Everyone should have a trainer like him, by the way). And after I get to a certain point with this journey, I may get connected with him again for a few more sessions. But it's an expensive way to kick start it, and I need to be sure I'm up for it fully before that kind of an investment, so that it's not wasted and I'm not filled with regret.

I know this was a bit rambly and depressing, but it's the big barrier to this whole effort for me. I don't honestly know if anyone empathizes with this, and I'm okay with being the only one. But it's a part of the story, and should be told.

Thanks for reading.

Good News, but how to explain it?

Hello! It was a beautiful weekend here in Boston, and it allowed me to do a few diet-friendly things like stay on top of my grocery shopping so I'm set for the week, and go to the gym TWICE. I really would have been upset with myself if I didn't go to the gym both Saturday and Sunday, and I'm happy with myself that I made it, and had good work outs both times. More on that later.

First, this morning's weigh in:

Weight: -2.8 lbs!
Bodyfat: + 0.5% (i think that happens as the denominator gets smaller, but I'm paying attention to it).

Very excited to have "put up some big numbers this week", as they say on The Biggest Loser. (okay, so it's not even 2%, and I'd very likely be below the yellow line, but I'm still winning in my own show).

More importantly, it brings me officially to -7.5lbs, which is 25% of my goal! That's a big accomplishment, and I'm happy to have gotten there in 5 weeks!

So, why the weight loss? Honestly, I don't have a good answer on that.

I didn't eat so well last week. I was okay on points, even lower some days, but I had a few days in there where I didn't eat such well-rounded meals (is 6 white cheddar rice cakes dinner? It was one day last week, I know that!) and a few days I went without my usual lunch and moved to a salad, which wasn't bad, but it was still different.

And, in terms of the gym, I had several wasted days last week. I went once when it probably should have been at least 2 times and could have been 3. (another reason it was so important for me to go twice this weekend).

So, I don't know the answer as to why, so, it's hard for me to say "more of the same will get me there". It won't - I may just be having some metabolism surge or something. I don't know.

I mentioned last time I want to do a "working out" post and I will do that next. I felt a bit guilty about posting about working out when, quite frankly, I just hadn't been doing it enough!

So, we're on a good start for this week, and I will be approaching my next challenge in a few days: Going to visit Robert's sister and brother-in-law (and my new nephew!) for 5 days, starting Saturday. This means
(a) I won't be in direct control of my own food and be able to eat diety stuff all week
(b) I won't be near my gym
(c) I won't weigh in until THURSDAY of next week!

I really have to focus on how i'll make this week successful so that the following 5 days don't derail me.

Any pointers on how to stay focused while on vacation?

Thanks for reading!

Four Weeks Down. Cool.

FOUR WEEKS DOWN.

Thrilled to say that, even if the numbers on the right over there don't read like a marquis.

It's been a longer period between posting, so I'll do a catch up and some thoughts on food, and my next entry will be on exercise, since I have some thoughts on that too.

As far as the weigh-in, I weighed in Monday but also on Tuesday, figuring since I weighed in last week on Weds, I'd do two 6-day weeks to get back in cycle.

Weight: -.2 pounds (negative, but still...)
Body fat: -1% (still good -- i think the real measure of the activity is here).

Eating wise, I had several "normal" days. The weekends, I'm working to splurge a little bit more, not only in terms of what I eat (though not splurging in portion size), and adding wine or beer, a reasonable amount (one beer, or one or two glasses of red wine) as part of the Friday and Saturday plan.

The total points and highlights (things off the norm) for the past several days:

Thursday: 19 points. Big splurge was a piece of chocolate cake at a shower at work
Friday: 19 points. Dinner up in NH - cup of ravioli (no sauce or extra cheese), a few tortilla chips with my homemade heirloom tomato salsa, and no pudge brownie in the car on the way up.
Saturday: 23 points. Went to Storyland -- had a grilled chicken wrap in the park, and for dinner, had steak chili and corn and bacon empanadas (I only had one) and a no pudge brownie for dessert.
Sunday: 17 points. Made pancakes for breakfast, but I only had 2 (had I known I'd only have 17 points for the day, I would have had 3). Nothing unusual beyond that.
Monday: 19.5 points. Nothing unusual, except that going to the gym and doing things around the house, I essentially skipped dinner. If I didn't need the points, I wouldn't have eaten anything later last night -- had brown rice and cheese at about 10 pm - an 8 point combination!

All in all, a few over on Saturday, which used some of my activity points for the week, and not any of my real extra points I am allotted for the week. So, pretty good, I guess.

Getting through weekends as "normal" continues to be a little bit of a challenge, but I'm learning to handle it all and plan a bit better. This weekend in NH, my best friend and her great family came for the weekend. Despite the presence of little kids (almost 2 and almost 5 year olds), it wasn't a weekend of eating geared around the kids schedule and preferences. I'm not sure what I expected, but I know there are plenty of parents out there who have their eating and meals based on what the kids want, and when they want it, but it wasn't that way for us this weekend. We ate like normal adults, both the what and the when. This really helped me stay on a normal schedule and not get distracted with things like a super early dinner on Saturday night, which could only be followed by a need to snack a few hours later.

Additionally, my best friend not only made a fantastic meal which was tasty for everyone and reasonable from a points point of view (dinner Saturday night for me was 11 points + 2 for wine), but she was so thoughtful as to send me all the nutrition information for the recipe earlier in the week so that I could calculate the points and plan around it. That is a fantastic support system right there!

As for exercise in the past week, I went to the gym on Wednesday, Thursday and then again Monday. Wednesday was my toughest work out, and I know I need to be more like that. Thursday was intense but briefer, and Monday was about the same. As I said, more on exercise the next post.

Thanks for reading!

A Story of Inspiration.

I've been waiting since almost the first day of starting this blog to write the post I will write tonight. I hope you'll humor me for a few minutes as I tell you about someone else's story... a story that was part of the big reason I decided to start this journey for myself.

Through the magic of Facebook, I recently rediscovered a woman I was friends with in college, whom I met in the first month of my freshman year. Lisa, a sophomore at the time, was someone I liked instantly. She was very smart, very funny, and just plain likable from the get go. We eventually faded, as lots of friendships in college do, and, though I'd thought of her from time to time in the past many many years, it was only when I saw a picture of another friend, tagged in an album of Lisa's, that I was reminded of her.

I was curious what she was up to, and looked through the album on FB, and then googled a bit more. I found that Lisa has a blog. A blog about weight loss. She was heavy in college, and I guess she'd stayed heavy after college, too. Apparently, as her 40th birthday loomed, 18 months ahead of her, she decided to launch a massive campaign: lose 100 pounds before her 40th birthday. And she blogged weekly about it, in what seems to be a nationally syndicated column.

Now, I'm pretty sure Lisa would say that losing 100 pound by her 40th birthday would be "a good start". It's not her ultimate goal, but it was an amazing feat to take on. I read through her weekly blog, learned a few things about how to approach my own plan, and know that I'll continue to revisit it at I need more motivation, or tricks and tips to get through the months. But ultimately, what it gave me the most was an example of someone who struggles and chose to make her health and weight loss a priority, even if it took a sensible amount of time to do it.

Well, today is her 40th birthday. And though a week ago, she still had 3 pounds to go, she worked hard to make sure her last weigh in was a great one, and it was. She lost 104 pounds in 18 months! Even if she didn't hit 100 pounds, she would not have been any less of an inspiration to me, nor would she have felt like a failure. But I'm still very excited for her and I'm happy to write about her and her accomplishment today.

If you're interested in checking out her story: Results Not Typical


Thanks for reading!

Quick Results post

Down a half pound (better than nothing) but also down another full percentage point in body fat. (decided to start tracking that measure over on the right, too).

I'm sure there's some sort of math that tells me if Lost Weight + Lost Body fat percentage = something good... I mean, it can't be a BAD thing to lose in both measures.

Anyway, glad it was negative, even if only a half pound.

Thanks for reading!

Labor Day. Some Rest. Some Labor. But all good!

I am just back from a long weekend (turned the 3 day into a 4 day! Pure luxury!) and I have to say, though I haven't weighed myself, and still don't expect too much of a change, I did pretty good this weekend. I ate reasonably well, still indulged here and there, got some outdoor exercise, and lots of good rest.

I'm going to catch up a bit on points here, with totals, and highlights, not a full list, for "normal" stuff like the same breakfast and lunch I eat most days:

• Thursday: 19 points. I did well that day with fruits and veggies
• Friday: 18 points. Because it was a "travel to NH" day, I saved the bulk of my points for a frozen pasta meal to be eaten on our arrival, complete with a glass of wine...
• Saturday: 19.5 points. Had a beer and popcorn at the Red Parka Pub, and also had a great stir-fry with chicken, squash, onions and tomatoes (sprayed the pan with pam and used 2 tbsp of orange juice to provide some liquid) for dinner that night. Our good friends made grilled peaches at their place for dessert... I had a few slices (but no ice cream!)
• Sunday: 18.5 points. Dinner was a hamburger we grilled, and had corn on the cob on the side... I don't eat butter with it - just chili powder!
• Monday: 20.5 points. This was the big splurge day. We grilled steak for dinner, but also with lots of grilled veggies with nothing on them and I had a little bit of wine - not a full glass. But our mid-afternoon break was heading back to the Red Parka Pub for a beer. And peanuts. And popcorn. I stayed away from the bartender's offer to try the new Bubble Gum Vodka they got in... it seemed like it would all go down hill from there.
  

In terms of activity, I went to the gym on Thursday. On Sunday, my good friends encouraged me (and Robert) to go out with them on a route they've done before, but we were all at different paces, so not really "together". Some all running, some half run and half walk, and then me, mainly walk with spurts of run. I did a 3 mile loop, and a lot of the first half was very uphill. I was glad I went... and glad I made it all the way to the half way point and didn't decide "eh, I've done enough" and then turned around sooner. I've got great friends! :-)

On Monday, a bit more of a challenge. Robert and I took our bikes out to the Great Glen Trails up near Mount Washington. This was a series of paths of varying difficulties. I'd never done a path with such hills before -- walking would have been fine, but biking was a lot more technical than I'd ever done before. Parts were tough for me. But other parts weren't. We rode for just under an hour, and I was ready to be done. I can't say I loved it. But I am glad I did it, and I would do it again. It was just another nice way to get out there and get some exercise, and not feel like it all has to be on a treadmill in a gym.

Speaking of which, I'm off to the treadmill in a gym. Visit 2 of September. Hoping to get 8 visits in this month, and realized last night that I really only have 15 days here in town to get 7 more visits in, so I'm going to have to up my frequency!

I'll weigh in tomorrow morning and post.

Thanks for reading!

The plan made it this time.

I mentioned that Wednesday was the second night this week that we went out with friends in the evening. I also had lunch plans with a friend during the day. So, both lunch and "dinner" weren't what I've been used to in terms of points and choices. But I did okay. A little over, but not dramatically.

Breakfast: cottage cheese and pineapple, cocoa dusted almonds 100 cal pack
Lunch: Scoop of cranberry walnut chicken salad on greens. (this is about a cup of chicken, and more mayonnaise than I normally would use if I were making my own)
Dinner: Restaurant appetizer (shared) of pita and hummus, and some brie on baguettes. I only had 2 bites of the brie, and more of the hummus. Also had 2 glass of red wine
Snacks/Dessert: nothing additional

Total Points: 24 (4 come from weekly points, leaving me with 27.5 remaining)

Again, over a bit, but today was fine, and I've got several days left this week to do just fine.

Speaking of doing fine, I'm happy to report I did go to the gym tonight. In fact, I upped my cardio time from 30 minutes to 45, and I worked at a pretty high intensity. Very happy with myself, and I'm going to put that in the "plus" column for this week. (not only that, but I get 2 extra points to add to my weekly, if I need them. Which I won't.)

My gym actually has a rewards program -- we get points for different things (mainly recruiting new members, not my thang) and can cash in our points for treasure like water bottles and shirts and gym bags and the like. I'm not really focused on getting enough points to do anything like that, but I DO like the idea that they have one point-earning trigger which might be a good goal for me. I can earn 100 points for each month in which I visit the gym 8 times. That seems like a pretty good goal to focus on -- and obviously, both measurable and has a reward tied to it. (1250 points is the first "cash in" threshold, so it's REALLY not something that will turn into a real reward any time soon).

So, with September being a new month, I may put that in as a mini-goal for the month: Attend 8 times this month.

1 down, 7 to go.

Thanks for reading!