Week 60. The last one...

Happy Birthday to Me! I turned 40 yesterday, and so it's time for the big report out!

Let's start with the numbers, all in:

Total Weight loss: -25.1 lbs. (15.7%)
Total Body Fat loss: -7.5 pts (17.7%)
Total BMI reduced: -4.5 (16%)
Total Bust inches lost: -6" (15%)
Total Waist inches lost: -8" (22%)
Total Hips lost: -7" (16%)
Total Dress Size: -6 (or -3, if you only count even sizes)


Pretty consistently, across every measures, I'm down around 16%.


First of all, even though I didn't make it to 30 pounds, I'm really excited and proud of myself that I made it to 25. And, I am sure that I'll zag up before zigging back down again, and that's just going to be my cycle. What I've learned is that my weight isn't always going to go down, but it's also not always going to g back up again. I've learned a lot about how i can influence my weight, and that it's just always going to be a thing for me. I will never be a "skinny" girl, but I also don't have tot be a girls who always thinks she's fat, and can't enjoy a doughnut. I'm somewhere in between, and I'm okay with that.

Second of all, I have so many people to thank:

• My husband, for finding lots of ways to be supportive during all of this, and understanding that what motivates HIM isn't necessarily what motivates ME
  
• My closest friends, like Liz, who always go out of their way to make healthy and diet friendly meals whenever we're together and keep me on track
  
• My great friends all over the country who not only read my blog, but take the time to post encouraging notes for me, both when I've had successes but also failures. These in-real-life friends and internet friends were a huge part of my support system, and I thank all of you!
  
• The girls in the pilates classes who saw me transform throughout the year and always made comments about how great I looked!
  
• The great professionals who helped me at the gym, either directly through instruction or through their general encouragement every time they saw me: Laura, Michelle, Andrea, Amy J, Ryan, and most of all, Maria.
  
• The people whose journeys inspired me and made me believe I could do this, like the Joneses and my friend, Tracy and my cousin, Russ, and old friend from college, Lisa Spodak, who shared her journey with the whole world
  
• The people who have taken the time to tell me that *I* inspire *them*, which only reminds me that, I'm not just doing this for myself sometimes; other people can find their own inspiration and journey by reading about mine

I look back at the last 14 months and feel like it's whipped by. It wasn't that it was easy; it wasn't always. But it was EASY to make it important, and EASY to make sure that, every day, I could do SOMETHING good for my health. Even if I didn't get to the gym or make the best choice with my food that day, I could always find a way to make it count.

I know that blogging is a weird thing. It's narcissistic and selfish. I'm not sure why anyone would think that anyone else out there cares about what they fill blogs with each day. But this was a way for me to stay honest, to share what I was feeling with friends, and to get support along the way. I don't regret it, and I think it really helped. I won't be continuing with the blog anymore... I think it served is purpose, to get me to my 40th birthday on this path. I thank each and every one of you for reading, whether it was every week, or once in a while, or maybe this is the first time you're reading it.

Last word: If you're thinking about making a change, do it. If you're thinking you can't, you're wrong. You just have to figure out what's not working, what COULD work, and be open to tweaking it along the way. Bad days happen. Good days return. And if you've got the right support, like I did and do, anything can change for you. Good luck!

I'll close with some of my "Biggest Loser" type pictures... thought those would be more fun than my side by sides (which, if you want to find my last set, from 10 weeks ago, can be found here.)

Quick PSA

Due to a death in the family, I may not get a chance to post pictures and final post until Saturday.

Thanks...

Why Thirty Pounds?

So. as this sixty weeks comes to a close, and I am hoping to achieve my modified goal of 25 pounds, I thought I'd take a moment to talk about the 30 pound goal.

First, I'll tell you where it came from. When I started this, and I needed a goal to shoot for, I thought back to when I thought I looked my best. (not my HEALTHIEST, just LOOKED the best.) I thought back to grad school, and how I looked, 30 pounds lighter than I was when I started this thing. When I was in grad school, probably in 1993, I REMEMBER being my smallest, and liking how I looked. Now, I can't imagine I was healthy. With no money for food, my boyfriend and I ate lipton noodle mixes with a can of tuna mixed into it most nights for dinner, except on Thursdays, where $8 would get us a pitcher and all the wings we could handle at 10 cent wing nights at Sutters. I was under a lot of stress, as grad school can do, as all of my friends were getting jobs and I wasn't. I *was* in a city with big hills, so I probably did a lot of exercise, but that's kind of it. All in all, not the healthiest of lifestyles, and certainly not a model of "inputs leads to outputs" to really say it was something to strive for at this point of my life. But I was there, and I remembered I liked how I looked, and out came "30 pounds". Almost 19% of my body weight, up for the chopping block.

And there was a realisticness to the math, right? 30 pounds? 60 weeks? Half pound a week? That seems doable, right? I didn't anticipate months of plateaus, let alone small gains here and there.

Now, I'm not going to say it would have been completely unattainable. I could have done it. I could have gone to the gym 5 days a week. I could have counted every calorie and let it take over my life. I could have made some choices about how to live differently, indulged myself less, tried a cleanse or a fad diet here and there, and I actually think, as unreasonable a goal as it was, I could have done it.

But that is NOT how I wanted to do this. I wanted to, NEED to, do it in a way that my lifestyle could change in a way that was attainable, sustainable, and didn't make me feel like I was living an abnormal life. I needed to make my health a priority, without making it my ONLY priority.

And that is what I did.

I knew when I started this that 30 pounds was a great goal to get me pointed in the right directions, something aggressive, because that's what I needed. I'm not sure I ever REALLY thought I'd meet it.

But, the fact is, I'm not sure I would have thought that 25 was all that more attainable. That's 15% of my original body weight, a tad more, even.

Now that I've gotten to 25, I know that getting to 30 actually is potentially achievable. But what I know now about how I lose weight, I know it would take 6 months, not 6 weeks.

I feel and look great now. Could I lose more? Sure. I still have a gut (not as much as I used to!) and that will always annoy me. There will never be a bikini in my future. That's okay. And, now, where I used to have fat underarm/triceps area, I now have more of a muscle/flabby skin scenario, which seems even more unattractive than the fat in the first place, especially in the gym in front of the mirrors... waving around like flags.

But I think the future for me will just involve doing things I like, and get value out of, and seeing if that continues to get me positive impact, both from how I look and my overall health and strength. Pilates has been awesome -- my instructor, Maria, last night was saying how proud she was of me and really how noticeably STRONG I've become over the year! I'm also liking BodyPump so far, and thinking that this will be great for bone density and the kinds of things that 40 year old women should be thinking about. And, the Couch to 5K program was a great gimmick to get and keep me focused on cardio health. When I think back to my 5k the other day, the only time I suffered was when I had to walk up the hill because my legs were to tired to run it. It wasn't because I was out of breath, like I would have been months ago. I think I can and will continue to try and incorporate this stuff into my life as I can, because I can see where the real health value is, and can really see what a difference they've made in every aspect of my life.

Okay, this was a long and rambling one... thanks for staying with me.

I've got one more post in me on Friday -- I'll do weight loss, pictures, measurements, and final thoughts.

Thanks for reading!

Guess what i did!

Okay, this post is not about a weigh in (i'm up about a half pound from last time I reported, but that's okay).

This is about what I did this morning.

I completed Couch to 5k. I ran an actual 5k. One that I had to sign up for. And pay for. And got a tshirt for.

It was a 5k I saw on the interwebs a couple of months ago, and decided to sign up. I knew it would be in my last week of this journey, and, if I kept training, I might be able to do it. I didn't even tell my husband until about 3 weeks ago.

The route was listed in the paper YESTERDAY, so last night, we drove by to check it out. I learned there would be a really big hill i'd have to ascend, both ways. I decided then and there that I was going to walk the hills. Those were just going to be out of my reach. But that's okay. That would be about a half mile total. The rest I could run. And, for the most part, I did.

My husband was great at supporting me -- getting me ready before I started, meeting me at the half way point, and meeting me at the finish line (this route had a number of loops, so he could easily just go start-middle-finish without being on the course).

It was in the high 40's this morning, so that was freaking cold, but I warmed up well and gave him one of my shirts when I got to the half way point.

There were only about 100 people total, a mix of runners and walkers.

I only finished ahead of one of the runners, but I finished ahead of all of the walkers (I think). The only runner I beat was an 83 year old man. I'm okay with that. I think he was hoping to catch me, but that didn't happen. He was nice. We commiserated over oranges at the end.

I told my husband when I started that I thought it would take me an hour, give or take 10 minutes. But it didn't. In fact, I dreamed that I could do it in under 45 minutes, and I did. Just, but I did.

I was really proud of myself for finishing. Well, once I could breathe again, I was proud. I'm glad I did it. It was a huge goal of mine for this journey to be able to run (mostly) a 5k before this was all over. And, 6 days before turning 40, I did it.

Yay me.

NOTE: I won't post my weight again until Friday, my birthday, but I do hope to post one more time before this is all over with some of my thoughts and reflections.

You guys are awesome for being with me all this time!

Thanks for reading!

Nudged off the plateau...

Nice to have some better news to report today, but I'll keep it brief.

This week's weight loss: -1.6 lbs.
Total weight loss: -23.9 lbs.

Okay, that's kind of cool.

I'm feeling a bit more hopeful that I'll get to a full 25 pound loss by my birthday (which is in 18 days).

As a process reminder, for those of you interested, because my birthday is technically at 59 weeks and 4 days, I'm going to do my final weigh in on Friday, October 8th.

It was a busy week last week, and I'm planning a run tonight and another later this week. No pilates tonight, because my instructor is still involved with the last of the BodyPump class launch. Not sure when BodyPump will be added to the full schedule at the gym, but I plan on checking that out a bit more regularly.

Thanks for reading!

A story of inspiration... want some motivation? Watch this man's journey...

sooooooo, BodyPump...

This weekend, my gym is launching BodyPump classes. My pilates reformer instructor, Maria, also runs all the class offerings for the gym, and she's been talking to us about this since early spring. She and a number of trainers and instructors from the gym have all been working for months to get certified, and today was the first of the demo days. I decided I wanted to try it, mainly because I know I need to get some weight training into my regime, and I've heard such great things about it. I know a number of my blog readers take it and really love it.

If you don't know what BodyPump is, it's a choreographed class where every song for an hour focuses on a different body part through weight lifting exercise with a bar and a variety of options of weights you'll put on the end. In addition to the warm up, there are a song each for squats, lunges, shoulders, biceps, triceps, abs, and probably something else I'm forgetting.

So, I went, and one good thing is that they had all the staff there to help out with form and things as you go, so I feel like I got great attention to make sure that I was doing things correctly.

I can see how a program like this would totally work for weight training for anyone, me and women alike, and it gets your heart rate up quite a bit, as each song really goes through a full regimen of exercises for each body part.

By the 3rd or 4th song, I just wanted to cry. I'm serious. Many times, especially towards the end, I was choking back tears.

I don't know why. Yes, it was extremely hard for me. Yes, there were times I didn't think I'd make it through the whole song. But I think, for whatever reason, it was just an emotional response to working so hard and at times feeling proud of what i was accomplishing and at other times feeling like i was so overwhelmed and in over my head. I really couldn't pin point why I was emotional.

At the end of class, I straightened out my station and headed straight to the locker room. I needed to get out of the space.

After the locker room, I walked out and ran into a friend from my pilates class, who also took the class. We were chatting about it, and she said, "Hey - I saw your poster!" What? My "Success Story" poster was hung and I hadn't seen it? We walked over and she showed it to me. I couldn't believe it! It's just the front facing pictures from the blog you've all seen, with some information about how I got from "before" to "after", but even I was like, "Wow! I really have changed".

I have to say, seeing that poster after going through BodyPump and thinking I just wouldn't make it was enough motivation for me to go do it again. Though, next time, I'm dragging Robert with me.

Oh, and my hair's a compete mess, because I can't lift my arms to fix my ponytail. The world is just going to have to deal with my rat's nest today. :-) Tell me it will get better????

Thanks for reading!

Another flat line

Seriously... no movement on the scale this week. Again. Zero. Still stick on -22.3 lbs.

I just don't really get it, but, as with last week, I made enough bad choices mixed in with good ones that the fact that they cancel each other out isn't so terrible, I guess...

I've got a week ahead of me! My folks are in town briefly (they come in today, and leave Wednesday). Tonight, we'll go out to dinner somewhere, tomorrow, we'll spend the afternoon visiting friends and then we have dinner reservations at our favorite place. Then, by midnight Wednesday, I need to finish a paper and spend a bunch of time in the discussion groups online for my classes.

On Saturday, I'm going to go check out the launch of the new BodyPump classes they're starting at my gym! I'm excited, but nervous, as I hear it can be exhausting. But I'm giving it a shot.

On Sunday, I have a 3 hour timed midterm to take (already!) so I have to plan around that.

And somewhere in all there, I'd like to find time to run at least once, if not twice!

I don't know if it will all get done, but those are my goals for the next week.

Hope you all meet your own goals for the week!

Thanks for reading!

Whoa. My birthday is a month from tomorrow. That's real.

Finally, an update! Whoo hoo! I'm watching the calendar tear by me, and see the end in sight... and what do I have to report?

The bad news: I haven't lost any more weight.

The good news: I haven't gained any more weight.

I'm still at a total loss of 22.3 lbs and holding... and holding...

I have about 4 and half weeks left (i've decided that I'm going to do my final weigh in on the morning of my 40th birthday, Friday, October 8th). And, I really would like to see that 22.3 be 25. But I'm not so sure that will happen. Not going to dwell on it right now. Let's catch you up!

1) I started an online program at Boston University. This is sucking up as much time as they said it would (about 15 - 20 hours a week). This is impacting my ability to work out, and my ability to blog (you are the unfortunate victim in this scenario, and for that, I apologize). But, I did get to run twice this weekend, and I'm still doing my best to work out in some fashion at least 3 times a week.

2) I kind of hurt myself last week. I pulled something in the pelvic region (whichI don't recommend, if you're looking to pull something) in my pilates class, and it really took several days for me to get past pain when walking. I took it easy for several days, and reminded myself that I'm very lucky I haven't had more significant injuries on this journey

3) I am still determined to finish Couch to 5k by my birthday. I am on week 7, which is basically all running, no walking. It's gross. But I'll get there. By the end of "week" 9, the run is for 45 minutes or something like that. I can't even imagine you crazy people out there that enjoy that sort of thing (yes, husband; I'm talking to you)

4) This part I like... I was asked to be a "Success Story" for my gym for promoting one year since they launched pilates reformer. They'll include me on a flyer for the promo, including my before and after pics. Now, that's kind of cool, don't you think?

5) I bought cute running shorts. The kinds that have a built-in liner. They didn't bother me at all, and I wasn't uncomfortable. They didn't make me fall in love with running, but that was probable expecting too much from one garment. And I just bought a hydration belt (a belt that holds small water bottles) so that I can run outside without wanting to gnaw on the side of a tree for moisture after running for a mile. That's the sort of thing that will get you humped by a moose in New Hampshire, I think. Which, to be clear, is not my goal...

Thanks for reading!

Lazy days of summer?

Well... My face is red. Has it really been 10 days since I posted? How embarrassing...

First of all, nothing to report, plus or minus, in the weight loss department. If has been pretty steady. I am not sure why. I haven't been eating excellently. I haven't been working out a lot (3 times in the past 10 days). My energy and mood has been all-around lower. I am grateful not to have lost ground, but I am not sure that is for any reason other than luck.

I think part of it is in already knowing I won't make 30 pounds, so there is a small aspect of just knowing already there is some failure there. But some of it, quite frankly, is just plain laziness. I am not proud of it, but it is true.

I am using C25k as a vehicle to get back on the wagon. Doing Week 6 over (before heading into Week 7, which is all running, no walking) to rebuild a bit more endurance back up, and moving forward with completing the program before this 60 weeks end (shouldn't be a big issue, given that I have about 6 weeks until my birthday.) But I know I need some discipline to get back on track and keep moving to the end goal.

Whoa... 6 weeks until my birthday? That's fast!!

Thanks for checking in again to see if I have updated, and thanks for reading!

Just a quick update.... more tonight...

Just so I can get a quick note in on my weigh in -- more about the weekend and my challenges when I've got time to post tonight.

This week's weigh in: -0.2 lbs.
Total weight loss: -22.3 lbs.

In case you're wondering, I'm very happy about this being a negative, even if only a smidge, after the weekend I just went through! The key was, even though I ate poorly, I didn't eat a lot of the bad things... bad food + portion control = not as much of a train wreck as it could have been!

More later, and thanks for reading!

Not too much to talk about... but challenges ahead

Kind of a boring week... nothing too interesting to talk about, I'm afraid.

This week's weigh in: -0.4 lbs.
Total weight loss: -22.1 lbs.

I've been very focused on getting my husband ready for his big 12 hour mountain bike this weekend.... My next personal challenge is getting through a weekend of camping and hanging at a big festival of mountain bikers surrounded by lots of crap food and lots of beer.... Hoping not to do too much damage, but I expect it will be very difficult to find healthy food and stay focused when in the middle of the woods for most of the weekend! There will be barbecue there for dinner for the event, and most of the rest of the time, eating will be whatever I packed for our campsite. It's been hard to find things that work, that are okay to be unrefrigerated or in a cooler, and don't need to be heated or cooked in any way. I'm still working on it.

Of course, me sticking to my diet is no way near as challenging as my husband riding in a 12 hour mountain bike solo! Yep, about 8 and a half mile loop, over and over again, for 12 hours, by himself. Pedal pedal pedal!!

A post of minimal value

Honestly, I have nothing very interesting to say... I've just decided that, when my blog gets clicked on, by you or by me, my "BEFORE" picture shouldn't be the first thing aaaaaanyone sees.

So, my aim is to provide a posting here that is long enough to bounce the picture a little further down the page.

Have you read "The Monster At the End Of the Book"? It's been a favorite of mine since I was about 3 or so.

It prepares the reader for the scary monster at the end of the book.

This post prepares you for the Monster on the next post.

(No... I don't think of myself as a monster... it's just a little startling when it's the first thing that shows up on the page!)

Thanks for reading!

Starting Me vs. Week 50 Me... the Pictures!

Week 50... Ten more to go!

Not much to add in terms of thoughts since yesterday's post below, but here are the numbers:

This week's weigh in -0.6 lbs.
Total weight loss: -21.7 lbs.

It was another week where my Friday morning weigh in was the lowest of the week (down another quarter of a pound or so), and I worked hard to make sure I didn't gain too much back over the weekend. Heck. If i lose a half pound a week every week left, my final weigh in will be almost -27 lbs, which is nothing to sneeze at!

As for measurements... I'm struck by 2 things:

1) Total inches (remember, I just do bust/waist/hips): -4 inches this time, -19 inches in total
2) I have lost more than 6 inches in each of those areas! That's crazy!!

I'll post some pictures tonight.

Thanks for reading!

Staying focused as the home stretch appears, and the height of summer abounds

My husband and I realized this week that we have plans to be up at our NH place probably 9 of the next 10 weekends, including this one! While on one hand, this is a great thing, I can't help but notice that pretty much aligns way too scarily with my last 11 weeks of my countdown, and it can be easy to get distracted by weekends away up in NH. Too easy to say, "Oh... it's the weekend... I can have another beer... another container of popcorn... some ice cream... another piece of that crumb cake... " But if I do it EVERY weekend left, I will undo so much good work.

So, I decided that I was just going to have to grab it more forcefully, starting with this weekend. Yesterday, went to the gym for a class the schedule called "Metabolism-boosting pilates" which is code for "we didn't pay for the license to use the term 'BodySculpt' ". This morning, I did my C25k (I'm into week 6... remember, my efforts don't match an ACTUAL calendar), and I will do some WiiFit to continue to stretch from some of the weight work from yesterday. It is clear to me that the easiest way for me to stay committed is to make some efforts early in the day, and set the tone for the rest of the weekend from there.

I won't be able to do it every Saturday and Sunday of the next 10... there will be weekends in there where we've got other stuff going on, and it just won't be as easy. But I'm going to try. Hard.

Tomorrow is the weigh in for Week 50. Measurements and pictures. I'm hoping for at least an inch... it's hard at this point to continue to make impacts on that part of it, but I'm hoping to get a little bit of reinforcement. Pictures... we'll see how that goes!

Thanks for reading!

Not too late to try new things

Here we are after another week, and I'm okay with the results...

This week: -0.2 lbs.
Total weight loss: -21.1 lbs.

A fine week. I was down a little more, even, on Friday, but gained some back over the weekend, as I usually do... but still relieved that I'm about where I was last week, and didn't lose any ground.

Tomorrow, I'm hoping to try to take a strength training class. My pilates instructor suggested the classes would be a good next step to add to my weight loss and fitness gain. As my skin gets a bit looser from losing weight, the weight training should help, even if just with some body sculpt classes once or twice a week. In theory, can also help with weight loss, but not sure how much you have to do in order to get to that point. But it is something new to try, so I'm up for it!

Next week is week 50. (Yikes!) Pictures and measurements. I am hoping for another inch or two around the measurements... hard to make too much impact on that at this point. But I'm hoping for a little reinforcement! A little goes a long way...

Thanks for reading!

20 + Teaser + 100 = Reasons to be proud!

Cryptic title, I know. I'll walk you through it.

First, the 20. Well, I did it. Last night, I jogged for 20 minutes straight. No breaks. Okay, one 15 second break after 10 minutes because I haven't quite figured out how to run and to drink water from a water bottle yet without smashing my teeth, so I hopped up on the rails for 15 seconds to hydrate a little. It wasn't a fast run, but it was kind of my standard jog pace I've been trying to do during Couch to 5k training, 4.1 mph. (I know, you runners out there probably walk at that pace). All in all, that is 1.67 miles, about, 2.7k. I'm officially running more than half a 5k at this point!

I've never run that long, that far, without stopping. It's a huge deal for me (obviously). I was really proud of myself for not quitting, as it crossed my mind a million times. At minute 8, I knew I was past where I'd done it before, and realized I still had that much and more to go! At minute 10, I remarked that I was half way there, and I could probably do all that time again. At minute 15, I figured I only needed to get through 1 more song. At minute 16, I started to think, "Well... 18 minutes would be a great accomplishment, too, even if it wasn't 20." At 18, I knew I could do 2 more minutes, but they were a loooooong 2 minutes. At minute 20, I thought, "Honestly? I could run another minute if I had to!" I didn't, since I needed to do a quick cool down before pilates, but it was really surprising to know I felt good enough that I could have done a LITTLE more....

The Teaser. I've been doing pilates reformer (the torture machine with springs and pulleys) in a group training session (3 core people, added a 4th a couple of months ago, and occasionally a 5th will add, so it's small and semi-private) for 9 months now. Our instructor, Maria, is awesome, and she continues to increase her own ability as a teacher as we've learned, as well. She keeps incorporating new things she's learning herself into our classes, most of it Reformer 3 and keeps challenging us to get to a next level in our own abilities each week. About 3 sessions ago, she started to encourage us to try, if we were comfortable, moving from one our moves to get into "Teaser" pose. (didn't do the moves after teaser, just getting into "teaser" was a big enough move for us to try). One woman was able to do it week 1 without a problem. I didn't even try. Last week, I tried, but there was no way in heck it was going to happen. Last night, with the best of intentions, I got up on the first try! Sure, I wobbled when I got there, and she had to spot me coming back down, but I did it again, and did it solidly. (here's video of someone else who clearly knows what he's doing, so you can have a visual of what I'm talking about.) It was a huge accomplishment for me -- such a demonstration of balance, strength and courage I hadn't really gotten to before in my pilates class. Also helps that I have such supportive classmates and an instructor along the way!

And, what does 100 mean? Well, this is my 100th post on this blog!! I can't believe it! I have to admit, I didn't really realize this until yesterday. I was reading someone else's blog and she was commenting about her 100th post, and I thought to myself, "that's a big deal... I should really have a sense of when my OWN 100th post will be." Imagine my surprise when I saw that my very next post would be number 100!

I was e-mailing with a dear friend recently about how important blogging had become to this whole thing. Sure, the diet and the exercise are the WORK of it all, but I really could not have done any of this without the blogging. First of all, of course there is the accountability. Knowing that I have people who will be tuning in to see what happens next, and seeing if I am following through on proclamations is honestly a big motivator, both from a "I have people I can share success with" and from a "I will feel guilty if I skulk away from all this and people know" point of view. (I guess those are the two sides of the accountability coin.)

The other aspect of why blogging has been so helpful is the intellectual and creative outlet it has been for me to be able to process these thoughts I have about all of this, the good and the bad, and be able to keep them all in check. Being able to look back and read where I've been, where I came from, different goals I've set for myself and achieved has been a tremendous tool. In that sense, it's really just a journal that I've happened to make public, if people want to read it, and there's obviously value in that exercise for me, whether or not there's an audience.

But 100 posts is incredible, especially since am not even 50 weeks into this yet. I don't know that I ever thought I'd hit 100. Not sure I ever gave it much thought. But now that I have, I'm really proud of this last of 3 accomplishments I wanted to share today.

I hope any one of these accomplishments in my little life help to inspire YOU to set a goal today worth achieving, and worth sharing your pride once you do!

Thanks for reading! (Thanks for reading 100 times!)

The end in sight is starting to be scary... but weeks like this help!

Well, I'm not sure what was particular special about this week, but it's in the right direction, so I'll take it!

This week's weight in: -1.0 lbs.
Total wight loss: -20.9 lbs.

I can't say I have too much explanation, other than getting back onto the routine. My one splurge day was dinner out with my husband for his birthday at Clink at the Liberty Hotel, and even though the weekend we had a house full of guests up in NH, all the eating was very reasonable in terms of quantity and quality.

Approaching a house full of guests this weekend, especially mostly men who will be biking 100 miles in one day, but still being healthy, was a challenge, but I was up for it! Here's a sense of what the eating had for me this weekend:

Friday night, dinner at the Red Parka Pub. I had a beer, shared 1 popcorn with my husband (less than I would normally do), and the salad bar. Saturday, I had friends over who are vegetarian! I made gazpacho, a green salad, and watermelon/goat cheese/mint salad.

Saturday evening, there would be 7 of us. Appetizers I served crudite (including some CSA veggies -- fantastic!) with black bean dip (the weight watchers recipe) and a bit of cheese and crackers and chips. I had a few chips, but not an indulgence. Dinner was burgers (i didn't have one), marinated chicken tenders in white wine, olive oil, lemon juice and garlic, the watermelon salad, and macaroni salad, very light on the mayo. For dessert, we had a Dairy Queen cake for Robert's bday, which I had a TINY slice of, but also I made applesauce granita, which is literally unsweetened applesauce and juice of a lemon, made into an icy texture -- very guiltless! Sunday, some egg sandwiches, which we served on bagels or deli flats (me) with turkey bacon (I didn't have any of that). So, lots and lots of food, but all healthy choices, and portion control was our friend! It's great to be able to indulge in a weekend of fun and great eating, but not feel like there was too much damage along the way!

I also managed to get back to the gym twice this week, and still making progress on C25k, though my NEXT session is the scariest so far: 20 minute jog, no stopping. My last one had a running session of 8 minutes run, 5 minutes walk, 8 minutes run. I handled the first 8 minutes okay, but the second one was more of a challenge. By 6 minutes into it, I was convincing myself that pride alone, and the accomplishment of saying I did it without cheating, was the only driver for completing those last 2 minutes. I completed them, with all the sense of pride and accomplishment I bargained for, even only having run at a pace at about 4.2 miles an hour (quick math: could run a mile in 15 minutes or so, but, um, just one of them at a time. ) So, 20 minutes of uninterrupted jogging sounds scary to me. But that's next!

Overall, the math is starting to escape out of favor. I am 70% to goal, but 80% of the way to my timeline. I'll admit that the notion that I'll be able to lose 9 pounds in the next 12 weeks seems kind of impossible to me at this point. I know it's not mathematically impossible, but at the rate I've been going, even with picking up some momentum the past few weeks (for which I'm grateful!) it's not enough to keep me on that path alone.

But I always remind myself that my goal wasn't just about getting a smaller number on the scale. It was about getting healthier and getting in better shape, and I'm hard-pressed to say I won't be declaring victory on that part of it, for sure! I won't be losing my focus the next 12 weeks... 9 pounds might a real stretch, but 4 pounds, even 6 pounds is attainable, I know.

Thank you for all your support, especially in this home stretch! I need all the support I can get!

Thanks for reading!

Midsummer break... getting back on track

Hello! Nice to be able to get back to normal here again... working full weeks for the first time (not that that is so great, but routine is a friend to my weight loss, I know) and, for the most part, the indulgence events associated with my friends' wedding and my parents visit is over. Last big event... taking my husband out to dinner tomorrow night for his 40th birthday dinner. But after that, no big events on the horizon putting temptation in the spotlight for a while, and normal work schedules making my gym workouts a bit more what I'm used to.

As for weight loss this weel, I'm back in the 20 pound loss mark (ish) and hopeful to stay below that line.

This week's weigh in: -1.0 lbs.
Total weight loss: -19.9 lbs.

Interestingly, I didn't exercise much last week, but I also was good about eating, so I think they've offset themselves a bit. It was very hot in the northeast this week; the only exercise I could muster was angling myself in front of the fan :-).

Tonight, I'll head back to pilates reformer, and I plan on getting back into the C25k for cardio right before it, and I anticipate that the week plus away from C25k means a step back in progress, but that's okay. Getting back on that horse, as it were, is important for me to get focused again, and not let my brief hiatus become a stand still.

I've only got 13 weeks left until my birthday, and still determined to make as much progress against my goal as I can. Even if the full number is not attainable, I'm got giving up where I'm at!

Hope you're all managing to stay cool and enjoy the midsummer excitement!

Thanks for reading!

No real change this week

I'm still hovering at this -19.5 mark.

We spent the weekend in NH with my folks, and I tried to remain focused on making good eating choices. Also went to a wedding and it was a bit more of a challenge there... yummy appetizers, plenty of wine, and, of course, wedding cake!

But the challenge right now is it is so hot! Hard to motivate to exercise when it's in the high 90's. Even though the gym is air conditioned, it's still too daunting. So, this past week or so, it's been exercise-free. I hope the heat breaks enough to get back on track next week, but I honestly hadn't factored in the heat of the mid-summer as being such a block in my ability to feel like I can stay on track. I know plenty of people will get up super early and do it (like my husband, for one), but early morning exercise has never been something I've been able to embrace. Maybe I need to try it once to see how it goes... but not until next week. (I know... more procrastination). I am hoping the heat breaks enough to go for a run outside in NH this weekend. I've finished Week 5 of C25k, but I may do some of it over -- I don't think I'm ready for what Week 6 has in store for me yet!

The highlight of the last few weeks has been the bounty from the CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). A good friend bought a small share and asked me to share it with her. First of all, I can't believe how much food is in half of a "small" share! We have fresh produce for meals for 4 days, easy. Second, the food is so good! Salads, veggies for stir fries or other experiments... it's been fun to work through them all. One thing I can't get enough of are the peas! So good... and such a throw back to my childhood. What a great part of the summer so far, and such a big help to stay on track on the eating side!

Hope you all had a great 4th of July! I hope to produce some better results soon...

Thanks for reading!

Just a short post for now...

Busy day ahead, but I wanted to check in to share my weigh in.

The good news is that my hard work since coming back from Hawaii has helped me get back to exactly my pre-vacation weight. That involved having to lose 3.4 pounds since last Wednesday.

So:
Total Weight Loss: -19.5 lbs.

I know some of that is air travel-related bloat, etc. but it still shows up on the scale.

I was able to eat really well with almost no indulgences (except for Saturday evening, which wasn't bad), and get to the gym 3 times in that space, too.

I wish I could have that much effort move the scale that much every week!

But, it does provide me with relief that I'm not back to being no worse off than I was 3 weeks ago...

More later this week!

Thanks for reading!

Aloha!

Well, we arrived back home from Maui last night, and are doing our best to get back on a normal clock.

I did weigh myself this morning, but not doing an official weigh in until Monday. I was up a few, though. :-(

The trip was great, and I was able to do some active things, and do *okay* with eating... some days better than others. I did indulge more than I wanted to/should have, but not as bad as I could have. Some indulgences: half a dessert at Spago, one fruity cocktail most nights (generally in the mai tai family, two small slices (two separate meals) of chocolate cream pie, two croissants (two separate meals) and a cinnamon bun with icing for breakfast one day. Oh, and some chips, of course. Gee... when I put it all out there, it's no wonder I've gained a few pounds.

My meals were pretty good choices, all around: most mornings (except for the cinnamon roll) I did well for breakfast. 2 mornings I had fruit/yogurt/hardboiled egg whites, and one morning, a turkey/swiss/egg crepe. Lunches were pretty reasonable -- a great veggie salad, fish tacos, a bit of a taco salad. Dinners were pretty good, too. Noodles one night, grilled ribs, a slice of pizza, and a super yummy pork chop at Spagos, which I didn't finish. One day we also had some tastings of fresh goat cheese from Surfing Goat Dairy Farm, too.

In terms of exercise, I went to the gym once. We went for a very long walk one evening. We went scuba diving, which was fun but exhausting, especially as we swam against a rough current, and had to walk about a quarter mile back down the beach with our tanks on our back after that. (the current was so strong that day that a snorkeler was lost on the beach that night, not recovered). And we went zip lining. Now, the zip lining itself wasn't so strenuous (except the screaming, of course), but I wasn't prepared for the 4 climbs we had to do to get to the towers for the launches. Climbing, mainly on suspension-bridge type climbs, or several flights of stairs, with the harness on, carrying the pulleys/gear along with us. I have to say, there were many times, as I made those climbs, that I kept thinking, "THANK GOD I LOST WEIGHT! I'M SO GLAD I'M IN BETTER SHAPE FOR THIS!!" I could only imagine trying this a year ago... 20 pounds heavier, way worse in terms of cardio and stamina... I was truly able to value the impact that being in better shape brings in the moments you most try to enjoy in life!

I hope to get back into the swing of things, and forgive myself for indulging a bit and gaining a few pounds. I will do a formal weigh in / report out on Monday, but spend the next few days trying to get back into a routine. I went to the gym tonight, and dinner was a fantastic salad made from CSA bounty -- I think I'm going to love this CSA thing! I am grateful to my good friend who signed up and offered to share :-) We were just giddy tonight, picking up lettuces, spinach, squash, radishes, herbs, and peas... Everything looked and tasted amazing! I hope you're all enjoying the bounties of harvests near you...

Thanks for reading!

Even I didn't realize it's been THAT long...

I think I've lost track of time in some ways. It's almost 3 months since I hit the 20 pound mark and have wandered between +1 and -1 of that area since then. This week is no exception (including Friday, when I was down more than a pound from where I started last week, but gained it back, as I usually do, over the weekend).

This week's weigh in: +0.2 lbs.
Total weight loss: -19.5 lbs.

I keep wondering if my stall will be permanent, and I keep telling myself it can't be... and this week is no different! It's still about meeting challenges and trying each week to make some progress, whether it's weight or inches or cardio health and fitness, all of which gets measured differently.

The next week or so will be the "vacation challenge" I spoke of a few weeks ago.

We're heading to Maui on Wednesday. From a diet point of view, that brings:

• 14 or so hours of travel day type food in airports and airplanes (never a good thing... way too much snacking and sodium-filled foods)
• 6 dinners, at least three of which will be at nice restaurants with indulgent menus
  
• challenges finding good and reasonably priced lunches
• not even sure about breakfast for the first 2 mornings (we'll be at the hotel), given our clocks will be off a bit.
• ummmm.... mai tais.
  

Positives:

• lots of opportunity to go walking along Kanapa'ali Beach
• I do plan on doing at least 1 if not 2 instances of C25k
• Lots of fresh fruit available
• Dinners will involve a lot of fish, which we don't eat a lot of here.

We plan on being pretty active most days, including activities like scuba diving and zip lining. But we also plan on some beach and pool lounging and some spa time.

We don't come back until late next Tuesday, so it is conceivable I don't post again until after vacation. I hope you'll come back to check it out!

Thanks for reading!

The only way to change is by doing different things

Seems basic, right? Keep doing the same things, and there's no reason to expect different results.

It's important that I keep reminding myself of this, because I think that's how I've gotten most of the success I've had so far on this journey.

Aside from the obvious stuff (eat better, exercise), I think that it's only when I've been open to taking risks that I've moved myself to the next level, whether it be physically or mentally, that I've found the leverage to get to the next level.

One of the biggest ways I've done that is through being very public and open with people about my plan. Whether it's about my blog, or sharing my story with people when they compliment me on how I look these days, or, more recently joining a facebook group with mostly people I don't know (but some I do) and being very open about where I'm at, how I got here, and where I hope to go... for whatever reason, being very honest and open and apparently, relatable, for people makes a big difference for me every time, and potentially makes a difference to other people. I can't tell you how often I find people saying to me, "You've really inspired me... I've just started doing ____ because of you." Or that my tips and experience really helped them with their own challenge. That means a ton to me, because I know I started *MY* journey not because I was tired with myself (I was, but had been for a long time, too) but because I found inspiration in others to finally do something about it.

The other way has been in being open to trying new things. Now, sometimes that's stuff like different foods, or different forms of exercise (pilates reformer and zumba and c25k certainly weren't part of my vocabulary a year ago!), but sometimes, it's about other things. Just being open to new things in life. New relationships. New challenges. New perspectives. Don't get stale, but don't discard your foundation and the things that work in your life.

My next example in being gutsy and trying something new will be next week, when I'm in Maui. Since my husband and I will be spending time with my sister and her husband, we thought it would be a fun thing to try something new (and a little scary); we're going ziplining.

My sister has done it once, but the rest of us have never done it. We're doing it. We decided to do it. My sister made reservations for us to do it.

Then I looked at the link for where we are doing it: http://www.piiholozipline.com/ . Holy Moley. My stomach is already dropping.

Now, I'm not going to lose any weight doing this or get in better shape or burn any calories by spending an afternoon doing this. That's not my point.

My point is that, when I try something new, even if I'm not successful, I get one step closer to the strength and courage I need to be successful in every other aspect of my life. We all need to get out of our comfort zones every once in a while. We hear that all the time. It's because that's where we grow the most.

What are you trying new these days? What are you thinking about trying new... but something is holding you back? How do you work to get past that?

Find your own stretch outside the comfort zone this summer... and see where it takes you.

Thanks for reading!

"This is boring. Change the channel." Right?

First, let's check in with the specifics to the plateau:

This week's weigh in +0.2 lbs.
Total weigh in: -19.7 lbs.

It must be pretty frustrating for you guys, huh? "Will she ever get past this plateau? This is waaaay boring!" I guess the best thing I can tell myself is that a plateau is better than a complete retreat and a slide right back up the scale, which certainly is an option for most of us!

I've got 10 days before I head out for vacation. I'm hopeful to stay focused here before we leave, and that next goal I need to get through is to be "good" on vacation. We're going to Hawaii, so, that's honestly not a place I traditionally have issues with indulging in bad food. Fresh fruit, lots of fish, some good meals, but it's not like there's a lot of bad temptation around. But still, every time you say to yourself, "Come on... you're on vacaaaaation...." you know deep down you're indulging in behavior you wouldn't do in your "normal life" for a reason.

Next fun challenge: find a dress for a wedding I'm attending on the 4th of July. I tried the 4 dresses I have in my closet from days-gone-by, and I wasn't loving any of them. They all fit, some were a bit roomy in some areas more than others, and some were fine fits now. One's certainly fine, but I'm hoping to do some shopping to find something better. Begs the questions (a) did these particular dresses ever look particularly great on me and (b) if they "fit" now, but I don't love them on my enough to wear to a wedding, why am I keeping them?? I think if I find a great new dress for the wedding, at least one, if not 2 of those 4 dresses in my closet will find themselves in the latest pile for Good Will. (Added a lot to it this weekend in some more wardrobe re-vetting fun).

Hope you're all enjoying June and the last 2 weeks or so of Spring!

Thanks for reading!

What I'm listening to

It's taken a few weeks to work out the kinks, but I'm feeling pretty good about the playlist I'm using right now for my C25k. Thought I'd share:

"Just Say Yes" by Snow Patrol
"Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz featuring Ludacris
"Hey, Soul Sister" by Train
"Waking up in Vegas" by Katy Perry
"Your Love is My Drug" by Ke$ha
"My Life Would Suck Without You" by Glee Cast
"Jump" by Glee Cast
"Forever" by Chris Brown

So far, all good beats and fun to sing along for extra inspiration as I chug through!

A few anecdotes of the last week or so

Sooo much to talk about...

First, I took a bit of a break last week from C25k because my back was bothering me going into Memorial Day weekend, and the running was just aggravating it, one step at a time. Got back into it today, for Week 4, Day 1. This involves (including a 5 minute warm up and 5 minute cool down): 3 minute run, 90 second walk, 5 minute run, 2.5 minute walk, 3 minute run, 90 second walk, and 5 minute run. So, over 21.5 minutes, there's 16 minutes of running. I hadn't done any 5 minute runs yet, let alone 2 of them. I did it today, and ran it all! I was surprised that the 3 minute run is getting easier, and the 5 minute run is survivable. But I'm basically half way there, both in terms of calendar (it's a 9 week program, and I'm at 4.33) and in terms of distance (I'm basically running half a 5k, maybe a little more, at this point.)

Second, my husband and I went shopping yesterday to pick up a bathing suit for him at EMS, right down across from the Prudential Mall. First of all, we got the parking spot directly in front of the store and the parking kiosk, so we already knew the parking genie was on our side. But while I was in there, I thought maybe I'd look to see if they had an skorts. If you don't know what a skort is, it's a miniskirt with shorts underneath. It's not something I ever would have worn before, but I thought I'd take a look now that I'd lost some weight and maybe it wouldn't look like I was wearing a swim tube around my hips.

They just got some in, made with the kind of material that's a bit more rain resistant and stretchy, so, I was hopeful. I looked at the 10 on the hanger and thought, "oooh... that's really small... I don't know...." and I decided to take a 12 in with me, just in case. I figured if I went and tried on the 10 and it was too small, i might be too frustrated to go back in again with a larger size.

When I got to the dressing room, I decided to try the 12 on first. Oh, no. Not even close. Tried on the 10. Nope. Not going to work. I asked my husband to get me an 8. That worked and was very cute! It's even a ROOMY 8! Between that reinforcement and my 20% off coupon (and of course, our great parking spot) I knew I had to buy it!

It was another reminder/wake up call that I still haven't gotten used to my size at all. I still think I'm just lucky with one pair of pants or something, and that can't POSSIBLY be my size... could it???

Thirdly, I had to sort through some of my cuter summer skirts as I'm preparing to pack for our trip to Hawaii in 10 days. Yeah, all but 2 of my 6 or 7 skirts are off to good will. One I bought last year that I just can't believe how much I swim in it now. Even one of the 2 I'm keeping is big, but I can just wear it lower on my hips with a bathing suit and it will be okay. It was a big surprise... and another good opportunity to clean out some of my clothes again. I think I'll have a broader round of that sometime this weekend.

As far as the weight goes, it's about the same. This past week, I was up about a half pound or so above where I was. I'm still struggling at this plateau, but I *HAVE* to believe that this C25K will be getting me in a better place numbers-wise soon enough, but I'm trying not to get frustrated with it.

Fact is, I've got about 4 months left, and I'm not sure this 30 pounds goal is going to be attained, but I'm not giving up just because it seems less likely... thank you to all of you for your continued support!

Thanks for reading!

Two thirds down, one third to go...

Week 40! Two thirds done with this challenge. 20 weeks to go, and the pressure is on...

This week's weigh in: -0.2 lbs.
Total weight loss: -19.9 lbs.

I'll admit, the plateau is frustrating, but I have no other choice but to persevere.

I'm sitting here, watching The Biggest Loser finale (I stopped watching mid-season... didn't find the contestants personally compelling enough, but I always enjoy the season finale. It's always inspiring.

So, another update: Measurements. Bust and Waist down another inch each. Total weight loss down 15 inches in the Bust/Waist/Hips measurements. I'm relieved to keep making progress on that front. This week was a "pictures" week, too. I'm not posting them. I think they look good, but not too much change from week 30 in general. But, I *can see* that, beyond the basic measurements areas, I can see a slimming of my upper body, less extra flesh in places that it just isn't welcome. So, I've got that going for me, which is nice.

On another note, I did my Week 3, Day 2 of C25k, and as I expected, I definitely ran more slowly on the road, I can tell. But that's okay for the first run of the week. This weekend, I should transition to Week 4 at some point, and I'll do that on the road, too. Sloooowly, but I'll do it.

(I was going to say, "if it takes all day," but given that it's a timed workout, at least I know there's an end in sight. :-) )

I hope you all are enjoying the end of May... it quickly approaches!

Thanks for reading!

Did something different today

Just a short post, but I was proud of myself today, and thought I'd share.

As I'm in NH today, I had a few options. I could go to pilates, or I could pay to get a day pass to use the treadmill at the gym to do Week 3, Day 1 of my C25k (where longer runs come in), or I could try to do the C25k outside. I decided to be brave and try it outside.

As you leave our complex, you can go left, or you can go right. Left stares at a hill. A big one. I have great friends that run this way all the time, and I'm a bit in awe of them. I'm no where near ready for that hill.

But going right is kind of flat. I figured I could handle that. So I gave it a shot.

The first thing that surprised me is that my first 90 second run felt like 45 seconds. I was so surprised when the program beeped for transition! The 3 minute run felt longer, but it probably felt like 3 minutes, and not 5. I am attributing this to a few things. 1) I'm just getting more used to longer runs. 2) I probably didn't run as fast as I do on the treadmill, when I can set the speed, so maybe I wasn't working as hard and 3) running outside, instead of a treadmill, is just plain less boring, and time can go by more quickly purely because it is interesting.

I still plan on using the treadmill for this stuff, because I feel like being able to pay attention to my speed an how fast I'm running is an important part of me feeling like I'm making progress, but it was nice to know I have options (like for next weekend, when I'm back in NH again) and beyond.

Oh, and I also came to a decision today, even if a bit earlier than I needed to:

I'm going to keep going, week by week, on this 9 week program. I'm handling it okay, and I feel like I'm accomplishing something. 2 more days of Week 3, I can do. Week 4 has alternating (with walk breaks) 3 minute and 5 minute runs. I can't look past that week yet - I'm just going to try it and see where it goes.

And, yes, for those of you counting at home, my "weeks" are averaging a bit more like 8 or 9 days, but I'm okay with that. :-)

Thanks for reading!

The downsides of the new life style

So, I don't normally talk about some of the negatives about my diet and exercise, but I thought I'd take a moment to do so.

Maybe "negatives" aren't the right word. Let me list some out and maybe you'll see what I'm talking about:

• time commitments: When I have friends say, "what's a good time to get together?" I find myself thinking, "well, I can't do it Monday, because I have pilates, and I can't do it Thursday, because I have Zumba. And I definitely need to go to the gym one other night in between there..." and if it happens to be a weekend I'm planning to go north, suddenly, there are no nights I've made available for other things

• food shopping frequency: I definitely have to go food shopping more often. And it costs more money

• clothes: I've spent more money on clothes the last 9 months than I probably did the previous 3 years combined. And half the clothes (more?) that I've bought the last month don't fit me any more. Seriously, I've bought about 15 pairs of pants, and probably 3 fit me right now. (fortunately, I've got a lot of skirts that work with multiple sizes)

• laundry: well, to be fair, my husband does the laundry, so this is really a negative for him, but I go through workout clothes all the time.
  

• time-suck on gym nights: Here's a typical night where I plan on going to a one-hour class at the gym. I get home about 6:15, get something quick to eat, change, and leave for the gym about 6:40. Class is at 7. Ends at 8. Go to the locker room, get cleaned up. Walk home. It's 8:30 easily by the time I get home. So, my "one hour at the gym" absorbs about 2 - 2.5 hours of my evening. If I go for longer, it only increases (obviously). I get home, exhausted.
  

• side effect of time-suck on gym nights: things aren't getting done as readily as they used to. Mail sorting, bill paying, house cleaning, other home admin stuff... those nights I'm at the gym, it just doesn't get done. The other nights, well, sometimes I'm so into a "I need a night off" that I avoid that stuff, too, in an indulgence of laziness and catching up on the tv I missed while at the gym the night before.

I don't mean to be negative... clearly, I love what results I've had from making this part of my life a priority where it didn't exist before. But I don't think I anticipated some of this, and it's worth being honest (with myself) about where the priority shift had an impact. And I think it's important because, let's face it, come October, it's not like I'm just going to be able to say, "Okay, body! Freeze just like this! We don't have to work at it any more!" Some of this stuff is going to have to stay in my life, the eating habits, the exercise, etc. I'm just going to have to continue to find better ways to make sure that the rest of the things in life don't fall out of sight. I'm starting some online classes in the fall, and I'm already worried about how that will all fit in....

And, heck... I don't even have kids! I know a lot of YOU do, and I marvel in your energy and commitment. And sanity. :-)

Thanks for reading!

Two long weeks?

Still with me? I'm lucky! After two weeks of silence, I thought I would have lost you all!

First, the weigh in:

This week's weigh in: +0.8 lbs.
Total weigh in: -19.7 lbs.

I think this weeks I'm down a bit from last week... gained probably a pound or more in the week from May 3 - May 10.

Why the silence? I'm not really sure I have a good reason. For one, I've been more tired than usual. And a bit more distracted, but I can't really say by what. For another, I don't feel like this has been the same kind of priority that it was... I'm getting used to things, even the gym, and I think that's all contributing to the plateau.

But there are some things that are new and noteworthy:

1) I bought new sneakers. Since I've been doing more running, I thought it would be a good idea to invest in some new running shoes. My last pair (Brooks, that I liked) were probably 4 years old. Granted, they hadn't seen a lot of miles, but I've relegated them to being the NH house sneakers, and invested in some Asics Gel Cumumlus 10 sneakers, when I found a great deal on some closeouts. They're really comfortable and they're cute, too. I find them to be supportive, but cushiony, and it's made a difference in my comfort level when I'm on the treadmill, which REALLY makes a difference to KEEP me there.

2) C25K is still going! I'm staring "Week 3" either tonight or tomorrow night. Week 2 was a challenge on the first night, where the running intervals had increased from 60 seconds to 90 seconds, but I also upped my own game, not only by length of time, but by increasing my speed for the last 2 runs of each section, so that I can really make sure I'm pushing myself.

One measure of improvement I watch for (I need small things like this!) was that I can run for my 90 seconds, and not look at the clock to say, "is it done yet?" I keep running, and the iPhone app tells me to switch to walking, but I probably could have run a bit longer and didn't notice the time passing. That is a big change from Week One, even with that week only being 60 seconds.

But Week Three introduces two intervals of three minute runs. It's a little scary; I know I can do more than 90 seconds, but twice that? I am hopeful that this is another instance of "seems impossible on Day One, but totally doable, maybe even at a faster pace, by Day Three".

At the end of Week Three, I'll evaluate whether or not I mentally commit to another few weeks. As a reminder, the plan is a 9 week plan, ending in a week of 3 mile jogs, with no walking breaks. Right now, that seems impossible for me, but I'll take each week as it comes.

3) Next week is Week 40 on this journey. That means pictures and measurements. I'm feeling like the last 10 weeks haven't been too monumental, and I'm worried that the pictures and measurements aren't going to show any progress and that's going to make me feel a little defeated. I need to stay focused on the last 20 weeks of this journey (the last third!) and I don't want to get knocked down psychologically with next week's results. But, I'll do my best!

Thank you for coming back to the blog after some radio silence. I appreciate your support!

Thanks for reading!

Waterworld

Feeling pretty good about the weigh in, and, honestly, I don't have a good explanation (other than going to the gym 4 times last week, and 2 of them being the first two attempts at C25k).

This week's weigh in: -1.0 lbs.
Total weight loss: - 20.5 lbs.

I'd raise a toast to myself of getting to a 1 pound loss again for the first time in months, but what would it be a glass of?

I know I've got some readers who aren't in the immediate area, so you may not be aware, but I'm in about hour 38 of a "boil water" scenario, due to an enormous water main break about 12 miles west of me, impacting my town and about 30 other towns all supplied by the same water authority. And by "towns" I mean these 30 or so communities make up about 2 million people and about 750,000 homes. Oh, and it got to 91 degrees here in Boston yesterday.

I'm not a water drinker. When this first was announced, I wasn't really worried. Then I started thinking (as the day got hotter, as I wanted to go to the gym, as I wanted some coffee, as I wanted to brush my teeth) that it's all a lot more scarce than I would want it to be, and the stores are out of water (panicking around these parts). My husband was on the Vineyard for the weekend, and was going to bring back water, so I knew I just had to make it through the day, but it really struck me how dependent I was during the day for water, when I really don't consider myself to be a water drinker.

When all this is over (this week???? maybe???) I'm going to spend some more time thinking about whether or not I get the right amounts of water, and what I'm doing about making changes if I need to.


Thanks for reading!

Staying motivated with role models

I did my second instance of C25k on Thursday night. It was fine... I convinced my husband to come with me to the gym and run near me, and we could go together - thought that might help me stay focused on this.

Last night, however, after a long day at work, I went out with some friends. Drank. Ate badly. Ugh. I definitely imagine the damage I did (would have been so much better if I'd just had a DQ Blizzard! :-) )

But, trying to be better today and salvage the rest of the weekend.

One thing that was GREAT about today, though, was spending time with my friend, Tracy, who is a huge inspiration to me. She started her journey earlier last year, and has put in tremendous effort to change her health and her body. She's managed to lose about 30% of her body weight, and cut her body fat percentage down by a third. Each time I see her, I'm overwhelmed by the work she's put into it, and the results she's had. And she continues to work hard to continue to improve where she's at. Her husband and children are doing their own things, too, working out, eating better, making better choices.

Spending time at their house today helps to keep me motivated to see where I'm headed if I continue to stay focused on my goals. I hope that those of you on your own journeys have the opportunity to stay connected with the people and the stories that inspire you and keep you motivated!

Thanks for reading!

What if I tried something different?

Sorry -- quite a week... this has gotten away from me!

First things first:

This week's weigh in: -0.4 lbs.
Total weigh loss: -19.5 lbs.

So, directionally good. But still feeling a little stalled. So, I decided I needed a change.

I've been saying all along that I know I was going to have to change something significantly if I was going to be able to take control of these last months and pounds. It's time to try a different path. Try some new things. Take a risk.

I've mentioned how much I hate general cardio exercise on here before. I know that it's the right thing to do to get this in control. It has to be addressed. So, what does a girl do when (a) she has no ability (b) she isn't self motivated enough to keep doing it on her own, or else she'd be doing it already and (c) isn't really able to invest too much time out of her week to make huge changes?

Baby steps. 30 minutes at a time. 3 times a week. Walking. Running. Intervals. Someone else is in charge...

For $2.99, I downloaded a "C25K" app for my iPhone. This stands for "Couch-to-5k", a 9 week program to get someone from a couch potato to running a 5k.

I have no intention right now to run a 5k. That's not a goal. The goal is to shake up my cardio and get out of this plateau.

So, the way this works is there are 3 days each week that I would do this program. I would go to the treadmill (or outside in the real world) and play the app, and it would direct me as to when to run, when to walk, etc. The first week, it's simple -- 5 minutes of walking, then 20 minutes of alternating 60 seconds of run and 90 seconds of walking and then a 5 minute cool down. Week 2 gets more challenging, and so on, and so on...

I'm going to give this a shot. I'm committing to trying it for 3 weeks. This will significantly increase my gym time, and should give me a sense of whether or not I am really up for being a person who can do this kind of stuff. I'll report out on it as I go, but I will go at least 9 times.

Well, 8 more, since I started yesterday. It was fine. I survived. Not very fast, but I did it. I wanted to give up, because I hate it, but I didn't. I'll try it again tomorrow.

Thanks for reading!

When everything is "special", the results don't feel so special.

Sorry for the delay...

I haven't been too motivated to post since there isn't too much to talk about!

This week's weigh in: -0.0 lbs
Total weight loss: -19.1 lbs.

I had a busy weekend with a lot of running around, and a bridal shower with a lot of eating on Sunday (yummy scones, clotted cream, lemon curd, finger sandwiches, chocolate cake... and so on, and so on). It was a hard day to pay attention to what I was eating, and everything was so delicious, I just didn't want to! So, the pay back for that is, even though I went to the gym 3 times last week and ate *okay* the rest of the week, the net effect isn't anything stellar. I guess the positive is that all that other good behavior let me splurge like that without too much damage.

It did raise the issue for me of "gee... I sure do have good excuses for why I splurged the last several weekends... Easter, visit with family, bridal shower... how many more *special* weekends do I really have?" The good news is "none, for the foreseeable future" (that answer changes in June). The bad news is that I have to make sure I'm really changing things up a bit between now and June to make sure I can take advantage of that non-specialness and see if I can get this weightloss back to at least a half a pound a week for the next 8 weeks.

Thanks for staying with me, and sorry my progress has been so uninteresting lately! Believe me, if only for good blog-fodder, I'd like to be seeing some different results here!

Thanks for reading!

A weekend away.... a good reminder.

My weekend with my husband's family in Maryland was a fun one... with lots of good eating and snacking (more on that after the numbers). As I expected, I wasn't able to make too much of a jump on the slight gain from the previous week, but glad, at least, to control the gain from getting much worse.

This week's weigh in: -0.2lbs.
Total weight loss: -19.1 lbs.

I got down to Maryland on Friday night, where pizza and wine was waiting for me. My first sign that I wasn't going to be that disciplined this weekend was when I had 2 pieces of pizza. This was not supposed to be my splurge day, but I knew I'd eaten all my points already before I came into the house... On Saturday, a great start. My sister-in-law had gotten low fat cottage cheese and some fresh fruit. For lunch, I had a small sandwich. Then, we had a cook out with friends over for dinner. Appetizers. Barbecue. Lots of sides. Dessert. Did I mention more wine? Sunday - reasonable breakfast, lunch at the food court while outlet shopping (practically impossible to find a healthy option, by the way, but I got a "chef's salad" and removed at least half the "chef" part). Chips and salsa for a snack before dinner. Dinner was good, and then, of course, birthday cake for my brother in law. A long weekend of grazing.

But here's the thing. A year ago, eating like that would have been normal. In fact, it would have been better than normal, because I'm sure I would have eaten the french toast being made for my niece and nephew, rather than the cottage cheese and fruit. The portions themselves of what I ate weren't so horrible... it was just the sheer volume and variety that got me through this smorgasbord. I really had a sense while it was going on (and certainly after it was all over) that I just can't eat like that anymore and still expect to lose weight. Eating like this on the weekends, if it's more than one weekend a month, will only cause me to gain weight. (That's how I got here in the first place).

So, it was a good "big picture" reminder of what less disciplined (not even UNdisicplined) work looks like... and a good reminder that that is not where I want to be.

On a super positive note, however, my sister-in-law encouraged me to try on an adorable dress at Ann Taylor. It was one of those cute structured dresses with a wide belt that is popular these days, but I just can never wear because it draws such attention to my "hour and a half glass figure". I was hesitant, because the largest size they had was an 8, and even though I'd started to wear a few pairs of 8 pants, Ann taylor always runs small on me, and I didn't really look forward to the realization that I couldn't even get the dress over my hips, let alone zipped or not look like a sausage with a rubberband in the middle.

Well, it looked fantastic! I couldn't believe it. (the fact that it was on a great sale was just gravy). It really made me feel awesome about myself. And, of course, I wore it to work Monday, and got a ton of compliments on it. Yay me!

Thanks for reading!

Ugh. Easter Weekend.

As I feared, a long weekend, less structure, less gym time and lots of temptations all led to a weight gain this week.

This week's weight in: +1.4 lbs.
Total weight loss: -18.9 lbs.

I'm not too surprised, but I'm a little disappointed in myself for not faring better. I feel like I'd been on such a "twenty pound" high, that I probably got a little cocky and thought I could handle more. It's another reminder that all of this is a lifestyle change, and I'm going to have good weeks and bad weeks, but my ability to not get derailed by a bad week or two will make or break my success on this.

It set me off for a crappy mood for the day, and a few things happened at work which made me even in a worse mood. By the time it came time to head to Pilates reformer with Maria last night, I was dreading doing anything but sitting around at home and just moping a bit. But i went to class, and it felt great. It was really the best hour of my day. I'm grateful to have had it.

This week, another unusual schedule. My husband is leaving town tomorrow, and I'm joining him on Friday night, as we spend the weekend with his family. I'm excited to see them all, and am not too worried about eating decisions when I'm down there. But, it means I need to be very focused the rest of the week to make sure I really can afford to relax a bit more when I'm there.

Sorry not to have good news to report. I'm hopeful not to lose too much ground here... even though I know it will take me a couple of weeks to get back on track.

Thanks for reading!

Slow but steady week.

Not too much movement this week:

This weeks weigh in: -0.2 lbs.
Total weight loss: -20.3 lbs.

Still the right direction! And body fat percentage is down 6.5%... happy to still see that one going down, but that needs work.

One thing that was a little different this week is that I had my "splurge" day on a Friday. Lunch out with friends, dinner out with my husband. It was a little unusual for me to do my points splurge day before the weekend. It meant I had to be a bit more conservative on the weekend than I normally am. Obviously, I got it under control (or we'd see a + and not a - up there), but it was a different kind of work. I'm not sure I can do that very often and still maintain that focus through the weekend, when there is less structure to help me.

Another positive is that I made it to the gym 4 times last week. Adding in yoga and an abs work out the last 2 weeks helped. I think they're changing the schedule at the gym for April to make that yoga and abs section a hot yoga (and no abs section) class, so, not sure if I'll keep that in April, but we'll see.

This week, we have Friday off, so we'll head to NH on Thursday night. Another week to manage the unusual, but I'm really looking forward to the day off and potentially having some beautiful weather (the 10 day forecast shows Saturday as sunny and 70 degrees right now!) and maybe using that opportunity to get active outdoors.

Hope you all had a great weekend and have a good week!

Thanks for reading!

What makes me successful so far

I thought I'd take a minute to reflect on some of the things that have been key to my success so far, in no particular order.

• Weight Watchers. Anytime people ask what I'm doing for a diet and I tell them I'm on WW, they say "I have heard such good things about it... everyone I know who did it had success."
  

• Power Pilates Class in NH: This is on the list not only because it's a good class, but it because it got me committed to working out, even on the weekends where we were at our "vacation" spot, where working out might not be top of the list...

• Pilates Reformer Class with Maria: I list this one for 3 reasons. The first is because the workout itself is fantastic, and I can see great results from it. The second is because Maria is awesome -- she challenges us and she is great at commenting on our progress. The third is because I like the women in my class -- it's like I have a mini-peer group, and we are all increasing in our skills together

• This blog. Knowing people are looking for updates from me has not only kept me focused and kept me honest, but it's given me a fun and creative way to express all that I'm working through on this journey.

• Zumba Mix Class with Amy J: Anyone who ever had an interest in taking Zumba should be so lucky to take her class. The workout is great, with a really good cardio session, but her creativity (she introduces a whole new dance every week!) and her energy and enthusiasm is absolutely contagious. She's really supportive, and I think this class has done a ton for my self-esteem at being able to be in group classes, too.

• Van Heusen outlet in NH near our place: A funny answer, I know, but the fact that I've been shrinking in pants sizes means that I'm going through my wardrobe pretty quickly. Being able to find appropriate dress pants that fit me, that aren't too expensive, and that I can buy conveniently has helped me look good at every step of this so far. No matter what size you are, having clothes that fit help you look your best.
  

• My gym isn't full of meatheads: It's a nice gym, and the people are respectful to each other, and you don't feel like you're walking around in a total pick up joint. It helps make the experience one I don't dread...

• FiberOne products. Yes, they're engineered food. But they've really helped me find easy to eat and good for me (in most ways) products that fill important gaps in my diet. And they're yummy and guilt-free.
  

• The support from my friends, both in real life and in virtual worlds: I can not tell you how much having positive reinforcement and feedback from people helps. The support I've gotten from people who make comments on this or on boards, especially when I've posted something about a struggle, have gotten me through lots of tough days and weeks. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  

• My husband, who continues to tell me how great I look, deals with my eating habits, and even goes to some classes with me once in a while, even if he doesn't feel so comfortable. He's done a tremendous job of being supportive in all the right ways.

I hope you can all find your list of things that make you successful in meeting your own challenges... it's important to remind ourselves of what works!

Thanks for reading!

Into the dark and scary closet.

I was able to make it "official" this week:

This week's weigh in: -1.0 lb.
Total weigh in: -20.1 lbs.

Sheeuw! Made it!

As part of claiming my success, I took on my closet. I don't have a large closet, but it does have 2 rods, and so I keep lots of things out of sight on the back rod, and it's a bit of an abyss in there. Lots of things deposited back there for "not now, but maybe some day" status, and never seen again.

I took eeeeeeverything out of my closet, dumped it on the bed, and tried it all on. Even stuff I was sure would work.

Some things (especially some dresses I'd held on to, with hope, for years), look fantastic now.

However, many things... 3 shopping bags full... are going to be donated. A dozen pants. A dozen skirts. Many blouses. Even a few suits. (WILL DONATE, UNLESS ANYONE KNOWS ANYONE IN THE BOSTON AREA WHO WEARS A 14P or 12P?)

NOT A SINGLE THING in my closet was too small for me. I can't tell you how many years it has been since I've been able to say that.

It's great to be able to revisit my wardrobe and reclaim some things, and get the distracting things out of my way. I don't have to worry now, when I go to put something on, if it will fit or not. And I don't have to get upset that I've got these things that obviously don't work for me (in one direction or the other) still cluttering up my closet, and my life.

It was a nice "beginning of spring" activity, and a nice celebratory one, too.

Thanks for reading!

How to make sure that I don't just settle at 20....

First of all, thank you all again SO MUCH for all the great support and feedback about my pictures and the progress that they really show! I am proud of myself for posting them, and feel so fortunate to have such a great support network out there! Thanks to all who commented and sent me notes in other forums... it means so much!

But, 20lbs isn't the end goal, and I have more to do... With my recent focus on getting to 20lbs and trying to make sure i keep moving forward, I have been revisiting my points watching on Weight Watchers.

The past several months, I really haven't been counting points religiously. My eating had changed enough that I was feeling okay about being in the right ball park, plus between activity points and flex points for the week, i certainly wasn't going over. But I know that there are days I don't eat enough points (not a good thing) and then days where I blow by the points. I decided to commit the next 3 weeks to getting back to tracking all my points again.

The other reason? Well, the downside of losing 20lbs means that my points got recalculated, and now, I get 18 points a day. When I started WW, I got 20 points a day. It may not seem like much, but it's worth my time to focus on it and see just how much of an impact it makes.

It's a good reminder to me to make sure I'm really watching what I'm eating, both to make sure I get enough on the days I tend to eat less, and making sure that I'm not splurging TOO much on my splurge days.

On the other hand, I've been very good at getting to the gym the last few weeks, too. I've consistently been able to make it 3 times a week the last many weeks, and I'm hopeful that, now that Spring is here, it will be easier for me to supplement that with some outside time. I think between the focus on the activity and the renewed focus on what I'm eating, I'll have enough momentum to make sure I don't just settle in at 20 lbs lost. I still have much more I want to accomplish.

It's not just about getting to bathing suit body. It's different than that. I want better cardiovascular health. I want better muscle strength so that I can do things that I enjoy at higher levels and for longer periods of time. Losing weight and gaining muscle both help me with that a lot, but there is more to do, and I'm excited about keeping it up and going forward.

Hope you're enjoying the beautiful first weekend of Spring out there!

Thanks for reading!

Well, I found the courage I didn't think I had.

Okay. Here goes. I'm puttin' it all out there.

My "Before" and my "So Far" pictures... not quite "Afters", yet... (Start in purple, today in Peach/Orange, if you couldn't tell!)